PH3 - Run 1097

Always read the announcements when doing something at a certain time. Just by a coincidence, I realised the bus leaves a half hour earlier than my brain had noted. The running up Yamato had a highlight when a guy screamed: Boat to island? Banana boat?

‘A’ site was a nice place with a decent view, which I learned, that has been used heavily before. Since it comes with a concrete wall, roof and all, it’s rainy season heaven. As Sir Airhead pointed out later during the circle - it was what the hash needed a few years ago when Mother Nature gave the Monday Hash a show in the form of a typhoon.

Pre-run circle called with the usual explaining from the hares, and the new shoes dealt with. A more serious announcement from GM Frog and the mismanagement followed. Will probably be explained with capital letters somewhere here in the Trash but basically... The Happy Hour bars started serving free food as a “thank you” years ago, around the time when the Hash Happy Hour was more or less where we spent the rest of the evening, drunks as we were those days (hmm, still are). Today it is a place where most of us grab a beer and food and leave happy a bit later. So it should be! Buy 1 beer or more if you’re eating! ‘Nuff said (stolen). And the other announcement was about bringing the Hash Horrors into the Happy hour go-go bars. This is a no-no, and in these Taksin days, it could not only give the bar very bad press, it can mean at least 30 days closure and G knows what.

Then after a last warning from the hares to King Yao Yao, to be careful and not play with the barbwire out there, it was time for another mystery tour in the land of smiles, in the city where men are men, and cracks are cute.

I had a quick meeting with my favourite Kraut, The Stupid C’one, and decided to rather watch the hares prepare all the Irish stuff than running. So sorry for not filling in with which dog that was barking, which barbwire the King missed, and if Sir Airhead actually caught up with you after arriving 3.5 minutes late. Instead I will give you a behind a scene look of all the work going on backstage by the hares while you are out on the afternoon stroll. Stroll for most of you, a bit more serious running for my fellow countrymen Karamba and Peler. Wonder if Karamba got a heart problem coming up with that blood pressure measurer thing around his arm. Hares got straight into action as soon as the pack turned around the first tree. First they had a quick meeting deciding it was way too hot in the sun for the pick-up truck, so they backed it 2- meters into the shade of the wrecked building that surrounded us. Then it was table, gas, pan and oil out, all organised by the cracks, while Seaman and Cl*t Face organised ice cubes and got out a bottle of Jameson. After 15 minutes when the first bunch of spring rolls still looked like a pale Norwegian night guard, supervision from Cl*t Face was needed again. The gas can was changed faster than the ice in a Jameson’s glass can give away a drop of water, and the oil was back to boiling, the rolls started to get a tan, and the girls all smiled again.

The front runners arrived and we spent an hour in the sun solving more problems like how they manage to remove the taste from airline food, cinema hot dogs, etc, etc, and so on. Enough spring rolls to feed a bunch of hungry drunks. Wonder how many of you who got a soar tongue today, like me. And it is not from licking something you shouldn’t have licked, but from almost eating the rolls straight from the oil. After fruit, rolls, doing the only shopping (hash stuff) we males like (that is of course ‘cept for electronics we didn’t realized we needed until we saw it), it was time to deal with the run and the last weeks events. Circle was called and I suddenly realized I was scribe. Always loved you, Flying Frog, thank you for asking. You saved my Tuesday morning. Would have been bored silly in the rain, and I got the perfect excuse for an 11 a.m. G/T. Flying Frog welcomed us to run number something, with hundred and something hare and hounds, and he iced those guys who always use 3 minutes to end a conversation after the circle is called. Among the housewive’s was Karamba as usual. Will try to get most down here but since half what I wrote is just as understandable to me as reading a hand, bare with me. Hares in, and we all thought it was an OK run on a well used location. Karamba was iced for having his fly open. Raffle followed and it lasted a bit long. Hashers have a tendency to buy tickets but not check when they have to use the brain. Not easy when you hear a number and at the same time compare it to what you look at, at least for us men (hey, we are the ones who turn down the volume at the stereo in the car while looking for house numbers). At the same time the kids found out how much noise you can make when you have a combination of concrete and small new lungs.

Religion followed and Sir Airhead honoured Rottweiler, Ewok and Miss Chivas for the food organizing, and iced Cl*t Face and Seaman Stains for not doing enough of the work. Sir Airhead followed by mentioning that there is nothing left of the St. Paddy day celebration in the Pattaya hash. Green beer and most of the Irish men - all gone. Derelick iced for last weeks photo - he don’t believe in underwear. Monster joining him on the ice for leaving. Derelick will return home to take up a profession as a male prostitute in jail. Icy Davidson joined them on the ice, explaining law problems regarding Derelick and his lawyer’s. The questions to the US lawyer’s office were something like: I know I was not suppose to leave the US... the reply was: Please do not contact us again! A naming followed, which I lost completely due to a visit to the bush, picking up a new can. Leavers, visitors from Egypt, Subic, Darwin and a least two more places. Then the huge bunch of returners. I forgot I was one, missed my beer. A few birthdays which I only remember V.V was one. Chicken F’r took over the circle and Iced Spaghetti Head. He lost his car last week, so a bicycle was his form of wheels this week. Was it stolen? Was it locked? Yes and no. Then I missed one. Think it was the girl who had the trauma of seeing Derelick’s “thing” last week. She is now looking for something bigger and better. Then it was more from poor Ewok’s love life. No need for all the details about the poor man but it involved a third floor and the impact it can have to the legs when not using the stairs.

Song of the Day from Chicken F’r was about the happy life you can have as a lady boy.

Peler was iced for calling Chicken F’r and interrupting while he was playing with his rubber friend. The call was about some unimportant stuff he lost on the Bush Hash.

Anniversaries, a few, all listed somewhere (yes I was in the bush shooting rabbits again). Then we welcomed 5 virgins to the wonderful world of Hashing, the hares did a good job with the hare song, we did the Hash Hymn and it was time for the bus back to town, and to finally have a look a Jameson’s. I’ve seen the photos on the net during the process and now it even looks like a pub. I only had time for a drink and missed the food, but I know. Kim and the staff do it well when it comes to serving us b*stards. Thanks Kim!

Thanks to the hares for the most un-Irish Paddy celebration I have tried, but hey, do it again, please. All in all, another boring afternoon with the hash.

On On
Oslo F ‘ere aka Vodka

The Square Ring

by Howie Reed

There’s an old axiom that boxing is only as good as the heavyweight division. That may have been true in times past, and may still be, so if that’s the case boxing is in worse shape then anyone guessed. When Lennox Lewis retired there was the window of opportunity for the “heavy’s” to get their collective acts together. To retain the spotlight and retake control of boxing. And darned if it didn’t look like that was exactly going to happen. But then reality set in. A tiger is a tiger, a bar girl is a bar girl and 100 baht is too darn much for a Klosters. The dysfunctional heavy’s have reverted to form. Which is? Whining, crying about more money and the brothers Klitschko’s doing a pretty darn good imitation of the now retired Lennox Lewis.

First the “empty headed” whiners. Hashim Rahman has to go to the head of the class. Honest Don King arranges a fight for Rahman against Vitali Klitschko in New York’s Madison Square Garden where Rahman would get $3 Million American. Not a bad pay day for a guy that has squandered more chances than a “Lady that Walk to Music.” Nope he won’t sign but wants the fight to go to “purse bid.” In this process the right to promote the fight goes to the highest bidder with the champion getting 75% and the challenger 25%. Now for Rahman to get $3 million the purse bit would have had to be $12 million dollars. Won’t happen, never will. Never did! Mr. Rahman agrees that he’ll take $3 million except that’s off the table so he takes less for a proposed April 30 fight. Whoops, Klitschko sustains an injury while “jogging” so fight postponed. I don’t think he got injured by jogging. I think he got hurt patting himself on the back. The contest is maybe rescheduled for June.

In jumps WBA heavyweight champion John Ruiz (41-5) “I’ll fight you on that date” he tells James Toney. That fight has been made, contracts signed it goes April 30. “I’ve been calling for a heavyweight tournament to help clean up the division, and a title defense by me on April 30 would help to bring us closer to the champion-against-champion matches the public wants to see.” Honest Don King, “I can make that happen. We should not let April 30 go by (they didn’t) without one of the world heavyweight titleholders defending his crown. My goal is have world title unification matches this year and I’m fighting to get it done.” Don King is not telling the entire truth. His goal is to control all the fighters that are heavyweight champions. Meanwhile Chris Byrd sits on the sidelines moaning that “I don’t get no respect.” Maybe. If he ain’t fighting he ain’t getting either money or respect. Not to be lost in the shuffle is the WBO Heavyweight title fight coming up between Lemmon Brewster and Andy “The Foul Pole” Golota.

Since last we’ve had some time together a couple of the Thai lads ventured to the Land of Toyota with the expected results. There were three fights held on a Sunday night and two of them involved Thai boxers. In Kitakyushu, a young Japanese prospect at 105 (13-1-1) laid the TKO deal on Thailand’s Yodphet Sor-Sakhunphan before a minute could elapse in round 5. The Thai’s record in news story’s was announced as 10-7. His official record is listed as 1-3. As they write, This Is Boxing. The same night in Shizuoka, Tsukasa Kashiwagi, (12-8), blasted out Thailand’s Chartchai Kiatpayathai, (0-1) at 2:18 into the opening session of a scheduled ten. True fact!

Not all was bad for the local lads as 24 years old WBA #2 Poonsawat Kratingdaenggym (21-0) didn’t have a great deal of trouble with Reman Salim who lost his undefeated record and now is at 8-1. Over 12 stanza’s Poonsawat got the maximum 120 scores from two of the three judges. The aggressor from the opening bell Poonsawat might have gone for the KO except for an accidental head butt in the 6th that had his left eyebrow spewing like the Dolphins at the roundabout if they in fact they spewed . They don’t, but that’s not important. No one can argue but that when he ruled the roost in the WBA at 105lbs.

Chana Porpaoin (54-3-3, 19 KO’s) was “the man”. Since he lost the title to Juan Landaeta last year things have not gone well. A rematch in Bangkok last May ended in a draw. Since then Porpaoin has two wins against questionable opponents and then last week a draw against Rocky Fuentes (9-2-1). Seems the wheels have gone flat on the old Baht Bus. WBA #1 lightweight Prawet Singwancha (25-2-1) ought to consider boxing better fighters. He’s at that stage where he’s got to take the step. During the card at Lumpini Stadium he obatined a 4 round KO over Armin Canja who had no official record. So Prawet’s last three were a MD decision against a 29-15 boxer and a UD against a guy 15-10. If he gets his mandatory challenge against WBA king Juan Diaz he’ll be in deep water and the fight will probably be in Texas. Wash out.

Big old “whamping” box fighting card today in a temporary ring in front of City Hall in Samut Songkram Province. WBC#4 Superfly Medgoen Singsurat (39-3) will defend his WBC Asian Boxing Council (ABCO) title against Dragon Zheng.

Zheng is reportedly 21-0, which I would take with a grain of salt. If Zheng wins he’ll be the first Chinese fighter in history to win an International Title. ABCO International Title? Funny old game boxing. Not funny is the clownish behavior of those “mishandling” the career of Joe Calzaghe (38-0). He was suppose to be at Kings Hall in Belfast last Friday night for a title defense (WBO Super Middle) against Brian Magee (23-1). “The fight was cancelled after Universum Box-Promotion (promoter of mandatory challenger Mario Veit) protested to the WBO that the bout was taking place less than 60 days prior to the enforced mandatory against Veit on May 7, which is against WBO rules. The King’s Hall card will go ahead.” Who cares?

What would a boxing column be without either a Tyson sighting or news of Iron Mike? Correct. Boring. The BBC is reporting that member of the Tyson camp are interested in using Muay Thai training techniques for his June fight and have contacted Police general Kovid Bhakdiphum, chairman of the World Boxing Council Muaythai. “Tyson’s representatives contacted us and asked what I can do to help him. If he’s not punching people outside the ring or biting the ears of opponents and shows he’s well disciplined, we will take him.” Let me get this straight if I’m Tyson. “I can hit people outside the ring. Can’t bite ears and must be well disciplined. But I can go where lady’s walk to music. Let’s go to Thailand.” I’ll drink to that!

The war in Vegas

By Howie Reed
(almost ringside)

For years Las Vegas Nevada USA has been known as the fight capital of the world. That’s probably stretching things but then Las Vegas is “big on being Big”. “What Happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas.” If truth were known there haven’t been a lot of mega fights anywhere in boxing the last few years anywhere. The sport has taken it on the chin. In the golden age of TV boxing the names of Leonard, Hagler, Ali, Holmes, Hearns and others knew they had it made when they played the Strip in Las Vegas. It was an actor playing Broadway. Then it was Caesar’s Palace or the Hilton Hotel (no Paris Hilton then. She had yet to make her video debut) that could claim fame as the home of boxing. Then fights were held outdoors in temporary arenas under the burning sun or star filled skies. Those days have sadly gone by the wayside. The last big outdoor fight was at Caesar’s Palace in March of 2000 when Felix Trinidad went toe-to-toe with a then 14-0 David Reid over 12 gruelling rounds. Trinidad not only won the fight, after getting off the canvas, but ended Reid’s career as he was never the same. Little did we know that would be an end to an era.

Since then there have been a lot of less “stellar attractions” billed as “something special”, Caesars Palace the once grand lady of the Las Vegas strip has show signs of age and new younger better looking venue’s have emerged. The MGM, which should maybe be the 8th wonder of the world, has come out of the pack as the premier showplace for championship boxing in Las Vegas. Their theory of quality ahead of quantity will always work. The MGM stands on the corner of Las Vegas Boulevard and Tropicana with it’s majestic 40 foot lions standing guard over maybe the world busiest corner. Manny Pacquiao (39-2-2) and Eric Morles (47-2) like that mighty lion wanted to be King of the Boxing Jungle. They wanted to leave their scent which meant, “I am the King”. Last weekend the MGM hosted what could have been not only of the fight of the year but maybe of the decade. Of course we’re only 4 years into the 2000s but still that’s something. With over of 14,000 screaming fans, almost equally divided, the evening might have been transformed from a sporting contest into “an event”. For some reason it didn’t happen. ‘The best laid plans of Mice and men.” It was a good fight, a very good fight but not great. What happened?

Here was a match up of two cultures with similar backgrounds (they both tossed the Spanish out) and a passionate love for the sport of boxing. No one supports their boxers like the Mexican and Filipino people. It’s their lifeblood after Corona and San Miguel. Like the two fighters the fans would give their all on this extended St. Patrick’s Las Vegas Weekend. Both fighters weighted in just under the 130 pound limit with Morales hitting the mark dead on. In a city where gambling is not only legal but encouraged the odds had swung in favor of Pacquiao in the last 48 hours. To win a dollar on Manny would take a bet of $1.75. A dollar bet on Morales would return $1.50. There was no argument but that Pacquiao’s power would be the ultimate key along with the “beard” (chin) of Morales. Except for some unexplained reason Pacquiao’s camp deviated from their previous battle plan that had seen them successful against Marco Antonio Barerra and Juan Marquis. Pacquiao’s trainer Freddie Roach was “teaching” Pacquiao to throw the left. That was the secret weapon. If so it was as absent from this fight as WMD’s from Iraq. There was a power outage for Pacquiao.

The fight itself was exciting with 115-113 score in favor of Eric Morales spot on. Both fighters showed heart, guts and courage. Even in the slower rounds there were enough flurries to bring the raucous fans to their feet screaming, waving, yelling and usually spilling their $6 beers. Pacquiao never was able to put up a sustained rally. He was never able to capture back-to-back rounds. Either his power was ineffective or the timing off. This is a fight that might well have been lost in the gym. That does happen! A game plan that sounds great just doesn’t work. Pacquiao certainly wasn’t help by his Promoter Murad ‘The Bumbling” Muhammad.

Just days before the fight Muhammad signed a contract to use the “Winning” brand of boxing gloves when Pacquiao prefers the punchers glove “Reyes.” With all due respect, these gloves are insignificant,” Murad. “We’re gonna beat Erik Morales whether it’s Everlast or Reyes or Winning - and I like that name because it compliments what we’re going to do on the 19th. Maybe Freddie (Roach) ought to be more concerned about how he wraps Manny’s hands than what gloves he puts on.” Make the Murad the Stupid. Even those with an elementary knowledge of the sport know that a boxers mental state is 90% of the battle. Upset that and you’re asking for trouble. After the fight Pacquiao said, “I would have knocked out Morales if we had used Reyes Gloves.”

In the 5th round Pacquiao suffered a cut from either a punch or an “unintentional head butt.” “I could not see out of my eye.” With one eye his performance was the same as in the preceding rounds. One reporter stated that Morales “dictated the pace of the fight.” That’s true up to a point. Morales was able to dictate the “pace” of the fight because Pacquaio never was able to keep his momentum going. Morales saw to that. “Styles make fights,” something that is commonly heard in boxing. It’s nothing but a crutch for those that are looking for an easy out. Morales fought better, was better prepared and won. Period and end!

Will their be a rematch? Bet on it! A high ranking official of MGM said in the press room after, “That was the first fight in what will be a trilogy.” The results will be the same again unless Pacquiao reverts to what made him the dominate fighters against the likes of Barerra (who beat Morales twice) and Marquis. Unless Pacquiao toss’s more than two shots at a time Morales will again be able to dominate the action with his offense and a chin that is a great defensive weapon. That will make this trilogy a duo unless the gloves did make a difference. Then wash out!

Convincing win for Hong Kong’s Marsh

Porsche Infineon Carrera Cup Asia - Round 1

March 20, Sepang International Circuit, Malaysia

A-Ha Racing’s Matthew Marsh got his campaign to defend his Porsche Infineon Carrera Cup Asia title off to literally a flying start last weekend, winning the opening round with an impressive margin of almost three seconds in front of the Formula 1 fans at Malaysia’s Sepang International Circuit.

However, there was drama even before the race began. Pole man and local hero, Rizal Ramli of Jaseri Racing was heartbroken after he was forced to abort the start just seconds before the off, having set the fastest time ever in a Porsche 911 GT3 machine on Malaysia’s Sepang International Circuit the previous day. “I don’t know what happened, but I couldn’t engage first gear. It was five, maybe even four seconds before the start. I have to put this behind me now and look forward,” said an emotional Ramli.

A-Ha Racing’s Matthew Marsh (front centre) got his campaign to defend his Porsche Infineon Carrera Cup Asia title off to a flying start last weekend at Malyasia’s Sepang International Circuit.

At the re-start, the race was shortened from 10 to nine laps of the 5.6 km circuit.

For Marsh, the win in front of the Formula 1 crowd made up for his disappointment in Shanghai last year, when he crossed the line first but a penalty later cost him victory: “What I learned in Shanghai taught me a lesson. On the grid there I was in the wrong frame of mind - too aggressive. I was so lucky to learn a lesson and win the championship. This weekend, I was very fortunate to win obviously,” he said, referring to the last-minute retirement of hot favourite Ramli.

It was a good day for Hong Kong drivers with Team Jebsen’s Darryl O’Young taking second spot after a strong drive which saw him hold on to his position off the start during some frenzied driving amongst the field, and survive an incident which damaged his exhaust.

“It was tough for a while at the start, but I held them off and from there just put my head down and looked forward,” said the 24-year-old. “It’s a great start to our season!”

Third was Charoensukhawatana Nattavude of Thailand, giving his SCC Racing team a podium finish in their first ever race outside China. The seasoned professional was delighted to have been awarded the drive by SCC following the retirement of Fuspeed Racing’s Adrian Fu at the end of last season. “I thought I would disappear from the series,” he said, “But SCC has given me this opportunity which is tremendous. This result is great for the team.”

Starting from 6th on the grid, Nattavude was involved in the frenzied action off the start, but his skill and experience ensured he emerged unscathed: “At Turn 1, I took the inside. I didn’t see what happened, but someone made contact and I saw water on my windscreen and then realized it wasn’t from me! Later on I could see Danny getting closer and my temperature gauge was flashing so I had to ease off.” The Thai made it through, however, to take the final podium spot.

British single seater ace and guest driver this weekend Danny Watts just missed out on a podium finish in his first outing in a Porsche since 2002. Watts finished fourth, just ahead of reigning British GT Champion Jonathan Cocker and, although his goal going in to the weekend was a top three finish, was pleased with his progress nonetheless: “I needed just one more corner!” he said. “I had a rocket of a start and made up a couple of places. I tried to conserve my tyres early on as I knew it would help me later. I was all over the back of Nattavude and had to keep watching out for Jonathan (Cocker) behind me. I really enjoyed the weekend and made massive progress throughout. A new car, a new circuit, and I’ve beaten drivers with tons more experience in this than me. I owe a huge ‘thank you’ to Porsche Asia Pacific and Noble Group for this great opportunity. I’d love to come back - if I could be back tomorrow, I would.”

It was a disappointing return to the series for Eurokars Racing’s Nigel Albon. On the opening lap, Albon was tapped which put him into O’Young, damaging the radiator and putting a premature end to his race.

It was a highly successful weekend for yet another Hong Kong driver, Alain Li. In his first race in six years and inaugural competition in a Porsche, Li took victory in Class B and an impressive 10th overall. “I didn’t have the best start, but tried to hold on to my position. The guys in front were a little too quick for me, but it makes me even happier that it’s such a competitive field.” However, Li would not be drawn on his Class B title aspirations: “Maybe it’s a little too early to start eyeing the championship, but it’s a good start. I really didn’t expect this!”

Second in Class B was fellow Hong Kong driver Philip Ma, with Sontaya Kunplome, of Team Thailand, in 2nd and 3rd respectively.

In Class A, Marsh tops the points table followed O’Young, Nattavude, Cocker and the second Team Thailand driver, Vutthikorn Inthraphuvasak. Li tops the Class B leaderboard followed by seasoned campaigner Ma, and series newcomers Kunplome and William E. Connor II.

The Porsche Infineon Carrera Cup Asia returns to Malaysia’s Sepang Circuit for Rounds 2 and 3 of the 11-Round series on May 14 and 15. This season the series will also visit Thailand, Beijing, South Korea, Shanghai - where it is once again a support race to a round of the FIA Formula 1 World Championship - before the final round as part of the Macau Grand Prix weekend in November.

Supporting the Porsche Infineon Carrera Cup Asia are two of the most recognised names in international motorsport, Mobil1 and Michelin. Mobil and Porsche have been partners since 1996. Close co-operation in research and development has to led to every new Porsche engine being filled with Mobil1 high-performance lubricant. Porsche Infineon Carrera Cup Asia drivers also have the advantage of racing on cutting-edge tyres supplied by series partner Michelin. The consistent performance and leading technology of Michelin tyres constantly improve the performance of many teams in international motorsport. The partnership between Michelin and the Porsche Infineon Carrera Cup Asia has emerged from a worldwide agreement signed between Porsche AG and the Michelin group. The Porsche Infineon Carrera Cup Asia runs as part of the Asian Festival of Speed. (Motorsport Asia)