by Dr. Iain
Corness
“Yuree”
Kaewdoungta is the manager of the very busy Tequila Reef bar and
restaurant on Soi 7. A very vivacious young Thai lady, she has a 47 year
old head on her 27 year old shoulders, and is outstanding in her
independence and positive attitude. She has never looked upon life’s
misfortunes as a reason to feel sorry for herself. “It’s just the next
step,” said Yuree.
She was born in Bangkok, but when she was only one
month old, her father died. This was to have a very far-reaching effect on
her life, and many times during the interview she would say, “I have no
Dad, so I have to decide by myself.”
Her mother married again when Yuree was nine years old,
but she was unable to just accept a new father figure in the household,
and when they moved to Udon Thani, now being in strange surroundings, I
got the feeling that the chasm widened even more, even if not in reality,
at least in a young girl’s mind.
The independent nine year old went to the government
school in Udon Thani, and I asked how did she do in school. Not backwards
in coming forward, the reply was, “Yes, I’m good! Always number 1.”
Unfortunately, as happens in many Thai households, there was not enough
money to be able to let the girl who was top of her class continue through
high school and to university. Yuree had dreams of becoming an air
hostess, “I was tall enough and personality OK, but you had to go to
university. I always wanted to fly,” she said rather wistfully.
By the time she was 15 years old she had made up her
mind she was leaving Udon Thani and came to Pattaya where she had a cousin
and her older brother. “I wanted to work and to finish my high
school,” said Yuree, and she took a position as a cashier in a hotel.
“It was a bit too much to start with,” she said, but with her spirit,
she persevered.
When she was 18 years old she had met a young Thai and
they got married, and when she was just 19 she was a mother. “This will
be good,” she thought at the time, but it was not. By the time her
daughter was two and a half years old she had made her own decisions
again. “My husband didn’t really care, so I thought to myself, why
stay? So I left and took care of my daughter by myself.”
I suggested that she showed a very independent streak
and she agreed. “I’m very confident in myself. Because I have no Dad,
this is how I am. I decide for myself, and told my Mum later!” She
agreed that this was not usual, but emphasized that her mother (now also
deceased) was very good to her and never asked her for money, though Yuree
was proud of the fact that she did take care of her mother, as well as her
daughter.
She was then working at Pattaya Park as the cashier at
the front desk, until she was offered a job as the cashier at the Tequila
Reef bar and restaurant. After one year she was offered the position as
manager. I queried the fact that she was very young to take on such
responsibility, and did she find it difficult? “No, it’s fun,” said
Yuree flashing another of her wide smiles. “The bosses always helped
with what to do.”
With the job came more responsibilities and longer
hours too, but Yuree does not mind, as long as she has time to look after
her daughter. When she has time off, she and her daughter go shopping, or
to the movies. “Anything interesting, or action movies, but not ghost
stories. I have my daughter with me!”
Having now lived in Pattaya for almost 13 years, all of
it working in the hospitality industry, she has met many foreigners. “I
work and I see how the farang men are (behaving) here. Some give you BS,
some you can’t trust. Sometimes they think all the girls in Pattaya are
the same, but they are not. (Many) farangs look bad to (the eyes of) the
Thais, and the Thai girls look bad to the farangs. Foreigners look down on
the Thai girls, but we (Thai girls) can choose the way we want to be. Some
girls don’t care the way people look at them, only thinking about money,
but I am not like them. I am very different. I won’t be the same. I have
to be careful, because I have a daughter.”
Typical of this young woman is the fact that she did
not learn English at school, but “I learn by myself. I read the books by
myself because I have to speak English for my job.” However, she did
take advantage of some after-work lessons that were available at the hotel
when she worked there.
The young lady coming on 28 also gave another insight
into the Thai community. “After 25, a Thai woman has to decide by
herself. She is grown up.” As I mentioned at the beginning of this
article, this young woman was “grown up” by the time she was nine!
A girl like Yuree is the exact opposite of those who
are the subject of countless letters to our Agony Aunt Hillary, but before
you catch the baht bus to Soi 7, Yuree is another lady who is definitely
not in the marriage market. Another milestone in her life was two years
ago when she met one of the patrons who frequented Tequila Reef. He was a
Lt. Col. in the American Army, and his visits to Pattaya became more
frequent as the two got closer. She has now married her Lt. Col. and both
Yuree and her daughter are looking forward to settling in America.
There will be much weeping at the Tequila Reef when their favorite
manager leaves!
