Pattaya Prowl: Hooting Hooters


The closure of the long-established Hooters (literal meaning Female Breasts) on Pattaya’s Beach Road has set a record for loves and hates on local social media. Hundreds of apparent past customers tabled their appreciation – good quality food, fair prices, friendly staff, attractive young ladies, cold beer, generous spirit measures. And so on. But they were outnumbered by even more savage critics claiming the very opposite: total rip-off, inedible chicken wings, warm beer and all the rest. Mind you, several bloggers did admit they had never entered the premises. It’s all part of the fun of media today. And artificial intelligence hasn’t really got going yet.

But what’s easy to forget is that Hooters isn’t alone. Whilst clubs continue to open on Walking Street and L.K. Metro, others close down. Whole districts, which used to house numerous gin palaces, have disappeared especially in North Pattaya where it’s hard to find a cheap drinking house in some streets. Once thriving beer halls, for example in Sunee Plaza, are now virtual bomb sites. Beyond alcohol, Baan and Beyond, a first-rate home appliance store, is having a closing-down sale whilst a nearby supermarket is rumored to be on its last legs. Like it or hate it, Pattaya is changing faster and faster.

As the numbers of Asian visitors rise – almost half of them are women – the crowds of traditional Caucasians from UK and Germany in particular are declining year by year. The retiree expats still here, mostly in their 70s and above, are not being replaced as they make the inevitable journey to the crematorium. Walking Street is no longer angled at Europeans as can be seen from the neon signs. The last stand is being made in and around Soi Buakhao. But will even that survive into the next decade?

֎ We hear that the attractions of Boyztown and the Jomtien Complex, the Pattaya gay meccas, are now mostly cabaret shows and chatting in the various venues. “Not like they used to be,” according to some old hands.

֎ It’s a good job Phillip Schofield didn’t have a session with a 20 year old in Pattaya. Just imagine the publicity in the British media.

֎ Pattaya weather forecasts are a total waste of time. Time and again the prediction is rain and, next morning, there isn’t a cloud in the sky.

֎ The Pattaya mayor says the cumbersome roadworks in the city center won’t be finished any time soon. August has been suggested, but which year is up for grabs.

֎ Apparently the reason for the roadwork delays is “older construction” which has delayed the installation of new pipes and drainage. Two months ago, the stated problem was that the gas, water and electricity people were not cooperating.

֎ Sex and politics are a lot alike. You don’t have to be good at them to join in.” (Barry Goldwater)

֎ The best temperature for tea is two degrees hotter than just right. Agreed?

֎ The trouble with dark room orgies is you never know whom to thank on leaving.

֎ Cheap Charlie’s, based on Soi Buakhao and Jomtien soi 5, now offer a discount or privilege card for frequent diners. But you don’t have to be a Cheap Charlie to eat there. Good marketing on the local radio.

֎ Pattaya traffic is now horrendous. Some blame the Russians who can’t wait to get behind the wheel.

֎ Life is a moderately good play with a badly written final act. (Truman Capote). He’d be likely to know of course.

֎ Did Beethoven look like a musician? No of course she didn’t. (Tony Hancock).

֎ Thailand is one of those countries where the prime minister can be chosen irrespective of the actual voting outcome.

֎ We like The Shack at the Marina Yacht Club. The largest food truck in Thailand serving American BBQ, Tex Mex, Meatloaf, Ruebens etc.

֎ Humans invented the atom bomb, but no mouse in the world would invent a mousetrap. (Albert Einstein).

֎ Don’t wait until your tourist visa is nearly dead before you apply for a retirement extension of stay. Immigration needs two to three weeks to grant it, assuming you have the paperwork.

֎ On compulsory medical insurance, you don’t need it for the 5-20 years Elite visa but you do for the 10-year Long Term Residence visa.

֎ Thailand is the third most popular country in the world for digital nomads. Maybe because they can evidently operate here without needing special visas.

֎ A Kuwaiti guy rang the bell in a Pattaya bar without knowing what it meant. He then refused to pay the exorbitant bill. But didn’t we read months ago the men in brown had ordered the practice to stop?

֎ A Chinese restaurant has been forced to display a notice, “We have an all-day buffet but this does not mean you can remain all day eating. Please eat your fill once and go home.”

Happy Hunting!