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Book Review: The Karaoke World of Cortous Haire

by Lang Reid

I will come clean immediately. I hate karaoke with a passion. I consider it to be something willed on the unsuspecting world by the Japanese as revenge for WW II. It brings out the worst in all amateur warblers, in the fact that they imagine they sound like Frank Sinatra, and continue on into yet another number, spurred on by all the demented listeners bringing them flowers. So it was somewhat of a masochistic urge that I picked The Karaoke World of Cortous Haire (ISBN 0-9781473-0-8, Konstruct books, 2006) from the Bookazine shelf. Perhaps what also spurred me on was the fact that I had read author Bjorn Turmann’s previous book Good Daughter, and this book was given a good review by author Stephen Leather, a writer whose works I admire.
The book purports to be the story of this peculiarly named person Cortous Haire, and apparently follows the real tale of the author Bjorn Turmann, going from Singapore, through to Thailand and Laos, looking for ways to stay solvent and alive.
Cortous is a junior marketing man in a karaoke production house, who has made being inept into an art form. Totally dominated by his boss and his secretary, he stumbles through Singapore, forging disastrous relationships, especially with women.
The characters which flesh out the book, seem as shallow as Cortous appears, though not as striking in their ineptitude. By half way through, I was hoping he would go to bed with the boss’s secretary, the only person that seemed to be a complete personality and not psychologically lacking. However, by the end of chapter II, the reader is witness to the confession of a murderer, who has apparently chopped up his wife as she was old, frail and there was no family to care for her, other than the husband who was similarly old and frail.
The timing in the book is such as to encompass the trimming of staff as the 1997 economic crash impinged on everyone’s lives. Cortous appears as the first to be dispensed with each time. Again a tribute to his ineptitude.
The characters come and go, and Cortous stumbles on through the relationships, generally cuckolded, though occasionally getting his own back on his supposed friends. However, the mainstay of his character is his wish to go to Laos. He has no idea why, but he wants to go there.
It is in Laos that he meets up with a most unlikely group of people, including a juggler from Liechtenstein and a large agent of the Russian KGB.
Even the author admits that at times the book is a little absurd, but it is the absurdity that makes you keep reading. It is quite a long and detailed read, and definitely has some turns along the way that are unpredictable. I got to the end rather exhausted!
By the way, the book claims that the Japanese invented karaoke as a way of letting off steam. I still think my answer is better.
Karaoke, the world of Cortous Haire was on the local Bookazine shelf at B. 395. A cheap read.


  Mott’s CD review: 21st Century Schizoid Band

Live In Japan

Patched up by Mott The Dog Owl Stretching by Meow The Cat
5 Stars *****
What a marvellous idea. What a marvellous band. King Crimson started life as one of rock’s most innovative bands in 1969, but no sooner had the band started than members of King Crimson came and went on a revolving door type basis, with Robert Fripp making it very plain that King Crimson was all but in name ‘The Robert Fripp Band’. After the first eighteen months all of the original members of King Crimson had either voluntarily jumped ship or had been made to walk the gang plank by Captain Fripp.
King Crimson is still an on going concern as a rock band today, although they do have pretty lengthy holidays, and bear no resemblance to the creature that first walked onto the stage at The Speakeasy club in London on 9th April 1969. That is not to say that each incantation of King Crimson does not have its merits; they do. In fact anorak Crimson fans argue long and hard into the night as to which was the best line-up, and what would be their favourite fantasy line up. The only constant of course has to be Mr. Fripp himself.
If you were going to take all the ex-members of King Crimson on a weekend break to the seaside you would have to rent a medium size hotel of some three hundred rooms or more. Many have gone onto fame and fortune after leaving the ranks of King Crimson; Boz Burrell made his own mint playing bass for Bad Company, Greg Lake owned the mint when he started ‘Emerson, Lake, and Palmer’, Ian MacDonald did very nicely out of being a founder member of ‘Foreigner’, Mel Collins found a home on the Camel as well as thousands of sessions, John Wetton went onto form ‘Asia’, (to at one point be replaced in ‘Asia’ by Greg Lake!), Bill Bruford became known as the drummer’s drummer and spends his time drifting in and out of ‘King Crimson’, ‘Yes’, ‘U.K.’ and his own solo projects. Others naturally fell by the wayside never to be heard of again.
Today in concert the band that goes by the name of ‘King Crimson’ and has Robert Fripp in it, never plays any of the songs from the first seven studio albums. Seeing a huge gap in the market some of the personnel from ex King Crimson decided for fun to get together and perform the music off basically the first four albums, all recorded for Island records, plus some of the solo stuff that each member of the band had done since leaving the band, feeling that the material that was not being played was too good to be just left lying around collecting dust in some old musical closet. Of course there was one very obvious problem: they did not have Robert Fripp! So a worldwide search was put out for a man willing to do the job, would get along with everybody, had the chops to do it and most importantly had the time on his hands to lend himself to the idea, as remember this was only started as a bit of fun.
Well not only was the man found, but in looks he was a bit of a doppelganger for the younger Fripp (from a distance anyway), had the feel for the music, and could play the guitar in the traditional style. His name was Jakko. M. Jakszyk. Michael Giles on drums, his Brother Peter on bass, and multi instrumentalist Ian MacDonald all from the original King Crimson, were all keen for a gig, add in Mel Collins, and you have one of those dream line ups.
At the start it was decided that the only material they would play was material that any one of them had at least been involved in recording or writing, plus a good excuse to pull out some of the band’s solo work. This still left them a multitude of songs to choose from, in fact more than almost any other band on the planet. This album ‘Live in Japan’ was recorded in 2002, not long after the band had got together, but already they were so tight as to be almost telepathic.
The selection of songs for the band’s concert at the Shinjuku Koueseinenkin Hall in Tokyo, Japan is, like the playing, nothing short of inspired. They open with the only original song, a simple introduction aptly titled ‘Schizoid Intro’ penned by Jakko. M. Jakszyk, which allows the band to stretch their collective musical legs before getting down to matters in hand. All the members of the band play magnificently, leaving you slightly wondering what happened to Michael and Peter Giles in the intervening thirty five years as although they have not exactly been idle, they have only rarely stepped out into the spotlight, which their undoubted talents seem to demand more of. Whereas the exploits of Collins and McDonald are well documented.
With so much material to gather from they have chosen well. As soon as the intro dies away the whole band thrust themselves raucously into ‘A Man A City’ which was always one of King Crimson’s early classic heavy numbers. Originally recorded on ‘In The Wake Of Poseidon’ (1970) titled ‘Pictures Of A City’ it was a firm fan favourite in King Crimson’s early days and exactly why ‘The 21st Century Schizoid Band’ was formed - so that this wonderful music does not go to waste and disappear into time.
There is then a fun rendition of King Crimson’s almost hit single ‘Cat Food’ from the same album. You cannot help but chuckle at the lyrics. We are then taken into a little bit of solo territory with the title track from Mike Giles solo album ‘Progress’ (1978) and ‘Let There Be Light’ from Ian McDonald’s solo album ‘Drivers Eyes’, which was released as recently as 1999. Both of these songs fit in perfectly with the mood being musically set up.
This leads us nicely to the meat of the concert, a perfect rendition of ‘In The Court Of The Crimson King’, the music for which was written by Ian McDonald whilst the lyrics were from the pen of long time Crimson lyrist Peter Sinfield for King Crimson’s debut album ‘In The Court Of The Crimson King’ (1969). The best thing about all the music presented here is that there is none of that wretched owl stretching music that Robert Fripp used to insist was put in the middle of everything. At the end of the day all those bleeps, hoot’s and jips that Fripp put in used to get in the way of the actual playing and the structure of the tunes. No such problems here.
The next two songs come from the second coming of King Crimson with a line-up of, naturally Robert Fripp on guitar, Ian Wallace on drums, Boz Burrell on bass and vocals and the talents of Mel Collins on saxophone. They only released one studio album, ‘Islands’ (1971), but the band was held in high regard musically. We get two songs from this album ‘Fomentara Lady’ and ‘Ladies Of The Road’, where Mel Collins is given full reign to showcase his talents without a worried looking owl in sight.
Ian McDonald then rather steals the show for the next three songs; two more from Crimson’s debut ‘I Talk To The Wind’ with some of the finest flute playing from Ian McDonald ever heard in the rock format. Next we are treated to the beauty of ‘Epitaph’, also from Crimson’s debut album. Then what could be more natural for this band than to finish off the set proper with a snippet from ‘Birdman’, a sympathetic piano laden instrumental from the McDonald / Giles solo album of the same name from 1970. My only complaint being that it is just not long enough.
For an encore what else but ’21st Century Schizoid Man’, the first track off King Crimson’s debut album. I have heard this song in many of its different incantations, but it has to be said that this is by way, heads, hands, and feet, above any other that I have heard. Jakko. M. Jaksyk fills Robert Fripp’s boots to bursting point whilst the others have a glorious time around his riffing, playing their hearts out, having the time of their collective lives, whilst the Japanese fans go mad for it.
Five years after it was thought a good idea to put a few friends together for a few ad-hoc concerts, ‘The 21st Century Schizoid Band’ is still going strong with only one line up change - Ian Wallace replacing Mike Giles behind the drum kit. Which, in a funny roundabout way, squares things up nicely with two members from King Crimson’s debut album line up, and two from their fourth album line up with the new boy stuck in the middle.
Music for the rock connoisseur. Given the choice between seeing or listening to the present ‘King Crimson’ or ‘The 21st Century Schizoid Band’, take this lot every time.
21st Century Schizoid Band were:
Mel Collins:
Tenor and Alto Saxophone, Flute, Keyboards, and Backing Vocals
Jakko M Jakszyk: Guitar, Flute, and Keyboards
Michael Giles: Drums, Percussion, and Vocals
Peter Giles: Bass Guitar and Backing Vocals
Ian McDonald: Alto Saxophone, Flute, keyboards, Grand Piano, Vocals, and Percussion
Songs
Schizoid Intro
A Man A City
Cat Food
Let There Be Light
Progress
In The Court Of The Crimson King
Formentara Lady
Ladies Of The Road
I Talk To The Wind
Epitaph
Birdman
21st Century Schizoid Man

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