AUTO MANIA: by Dr. Iain Corness [email protected]

Exotic cars lusted after/driven

 Shelby Cobra.

I freely admit to being a car nut. That is someone who has gone past the simplicity of just being an enthusiast, into someone for whom cars have taken on a new dimension. With this affliction, there are times when driving exotic cars rates even higher than sex with Angelina Jolie (my current impossible dream).
I thought you might let me reminisce about some of the exotics I have driven. The first that comes to mind is the Shelby Cobra 427. This was brought out to Australia by the Ford Motor Company, and the driver was none other than the late, great Ken Miles. When the booming 427 was not at the race track, it was sitting on a plinth in the main Ford showrooms. Every night after finishing reading my textbooks for the forthcoming examinations, I would drive to the showroom and just stand there looking through the window and dribbling at the sight of what still is a milestone supercar. I never got to meet Ken Miles, but Editor at Large John Weinthal, did. Not only did he get to speak to Ken Miles, but he also scored a ride as a passenger around the Lakeside circuit. Full safety precautions were taken - John tucked his tie in and held on tightly.
While I missed out on the 427 Cobra, some years later I did manage to get a steer of a genuine 289 AC Cobra and also a 351 Cobra replica. Both were stunning motorcars, but unfortunately the 351 owner managed to shorten his with a brick wall at Mach 0.5 and did himself irreparable harm, and even more to the 351. Shame.

Lamborghini Diablo.

I have driven a Lambo, and it was the Diablo. My test of this vehicle was held on the old Brisbane Airport runway and we clocked 150 mph (240 kays) while filming the speedometer, just to prove the point. That day we also had a Porsche Carrera as a comparison test and we could let it go half way down the airstrip before we let the Lambo loose, and the Diablo was always first at the other end, at a speed by which stage Boeing 747’s would be airborne. The Diablo was an incredible supercar. It was also quite horrible to drive, other than accelerating at speed, during which the engine note just grew until I described it as “aural orgasm”. I also stated that no woman, Russian shot putters excluded, would have been able to depress the clutch. The reason for the raging bull insignia was, I felt then, that you had to be as strong as an ox to drive one!
I have driven most Porsche models, old and new, and have to say that the most exciting of them all was the 1973 2.7 liter RS Carrera. Those early Porsches were not easy cars to drive. The tail end was always nervous if you were at all tentative as you approached a corner. Full throttle produced understeer. Trailing throttle produced oversteer in prodigious amounts. It was not difficult to go through hedges backwards, as many an early Porsche punter was to find.
I also raced the RS, and it was a very exciting race car as well as being one of the fastest ‘real’ road cars as well.

The Mighty Viper

When Dodge in the USA released their mighty V10 engined Viper, this was another exotic that caught my attention. I was given a Viper to play with at the Lakeside circuit in Australia. This was today’s answer to the 427 Cobra of 30 years previous. Just a big bathtub filled with brute horsepower that you steered with the right hand go pedal. The steering wheel was not needed. It was not a car that required 100 percent concentration, or neatness, like driving the Lamborghini or the Porsche. This was a car that you threw at the corner and caught it as you came out the other side, and just stabbed the accelerator again to propel you with an almighty roar to the next corner. It took about a week to get rid of the smile from my face.
There have been others, such as an Aston Martin DB9, numerous Ferraris and Maseratis and even a F5000 Lola T430, but for the sheer lazy thump in the kidneys and the feeling of endless power, the prize goes to America. I could live with a Dodge Viper. In fact I’d rather have a Dodge Viper in the garage than Angelina Jolie in the bedroom. Brad Pitt can stop worrying!

What did we learn from Abu Dhabi?

Well, we learned there’s a lot of sand surrounding the race circuit. They have a lot of camels. The marina has a lot of boats moored there. Everyone has luxury motorcars with upholstery made of petro-dollars. We also learned that no matter how much money that the pimps at the pumps have, it doesn’t make for a good Formula 1 race.
Unlike many others, I did manage to sit it through to the end of the race, but sorry, it was a bore-fest. However, there were some items worth reporting. OK, Vettel (AKA The Finger) (Red Bull) won again, but he did not just “win”, he trounced the opposition. Taking the lead at the first corner, he just ran away and hid, finishing the race 30 seconds ahead of second man Mark Webber (Red Bull). Now, if he would only stop his girlish screams after crossing the finishing line, I could almost get back to liking him again.
And so to the final F1 races for Mark Webber. Mark took pole and then, as usual, stuffed the start and lost the advantage. Immediately after this, his KERS stopped working (as usual) so he was down on power. Conspiracy? Collusion between Helmut Marko and the golden-haired German? Never!
We also learned that Kimi Raikkonen, as well as liking ice creams, likes to get paid. Considered boycotting the final three races because of lack of “Lotus” money in his piggy bank, but did front up in Abu Dhabi (perhaps to keep his side of the contract clean)? However, a first corner accident put him out of the race and he was on his way to the airport before the first round of pit stops. What happened? According to Kimi, “I went to the inside and then somehow managed to touch with a Caterham.” I ask you, this is an ex-world champion explaining, that “somehow” he managed to touch a Caterham. The real explanation is simpler than that I would suggest.
The Mercedes team does not seem as cohesive as it did at the beginning of the year when Lewis Hamilton arrived and everyone was waiting with baited breath to see what England’s white hope could do with the German funded silver arrows team. Now that he has been running behind team mate Nico Rosberg for the last few races, he has even admitted that “Clearly with Nico’s result the car’s better than what I’m able to bring home with it,” he is quoted as saying by Autosport. With Ross Brawn reputedly on the way out, Mercedes does seem to have made some strange decisions recently. If nothing else, Rosberg did come third, but as usual the TV cameras didn’t manage to pick him up during the close to two hour yawn-fest. Perhaps the director fell asleep like the chap at the next table by lap 26.
The Ferrari tussle was perhaps the more interesting part of the race. The unloved by Ferrari, Felipe Massa, outqualified Alonso again and could comfortably stay ahead of his Spanish team mate, so the pit wall could not repeat the famous “Fernando is faster than you,” directive. So they used their trump card and called him in for new tyres. You’ve got to feel sorry for the diminutive Brazilian.
As for the rest of the drivers, Grosjean (“Lotus”), Hulkenberg (Sauber), DiResta (FIndia) and Perez (McLaren) drove well, but that was not enough to brighten up a deadly dull race. Sorry.

Natter Nosh and Noggin

The Pattaya car club meets at Jameson’s Irish Pub on Soi AR next to Nova Park. The next meeting is on Monday November 11 at Jameson’s at 7 p.m. A totally informal meeting of like-minded souls to discuss their pet motoring (and motorcycling) loves and hates (plus lies and outright exaggerations). Come along and meet the guys who have a common interest in cars and bikes, and enjoy the Jameson’s specials, washed down with a few beers. A couple of the members are scrutineers at the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, so they may have some scuttlebutt about the F1 scene. Always a fun night. Be prepared to laugh a lot at some of the antics of the members (when they were younger)! The Car Club nights are always on the second Monday of the month (not every second Monday)!
 

New Honda F1 Engine fires into life

If you want to hear the sounds of 2015, then turn your speakers up as Honda has captured the roar of its new F1 engine as it fired up for the first time. Here is the link: http://youtu.be/431h20gvm3M
The engine is being developed for the 2015 season where Honda will participate under a joint project with McLaren.
Manabu Nishimae, President of Honda Motor Europe Ltd., commented, “It’s exciting to hear the cry of our new born Formula One engine for the first time. Our engineers are working hard to develop the engine and we are all looking forward to the start of the 2015 season.”
Honda will be in charge of the development, manufacture and supply of the power unit, including the engine and energy recovery system, while McLaren will be in responsible of the development and manufacture of the chassis, as well as the management of the new team, McLaren Honda.
From 2014, new F1 regulations require the introduction of a 1.6 liter direct injection turbocharged V6 engine with energy recovery systems. The opportunity to further develop these powertrain technologies through the challenge of racing is central to Honda’s decision to participate in F1.
Throughout its history, Honda has passionately pursued improvements in the efficiency of the internal combustion engine and in more recent years, the development of pioneering energy management technologies such as hybrid systems. Participation in Formula 1 under these new regulations will encourage even further technological progress in both these areas. Plus, a new generation of Honda engineers can experience the challenges and thrills of operating at the pinnacle of motorsport.
Honda will base its European racing operation in Milton Keynes from June 2014.
 

Autotrivia Quiz

Last week I asked what three and four wheeled cars were designed by two aircraft engineers, and what were their names? It was the Messerschmitt, designed by Herr Messerschmitt and Herr Fend. These micro-cars had rubber independent front suspension.
So to this week. The town of Neckarsulm lent its name to what cars?
For the Automania free beer this week, be the first correct answer to email [email protected].