Heart to Heart: How to enjoy Pattaya, a 15 year story


How to enjoy Pattaya, a 15 year story
Dear Hillary,
There are so many books written about the seedy side of life in Thailand, and Pattaya in particular, it is a wonder anybody comes at all, and to come every year you would have to be crazy. That’s the idea that some people think, but I have been coming back on my annual holidays for 15 years, and I don’t think I’m crazy at all. And I’m not a single male going from bar to bar like the butterfly. My wife and I enjoy going to the bars, listen to some great bands and watch first-timers with their mouths open! We stay at some of the top hotels which are much cheaper than similar ones in the UK. We catch taxis to go anywhere and they are cheap too. We eat at top restaurants here which we have only seen any like it in London, which are so expensive we can’t afford them. And we can sit on deck chairs and watch the sunsets. Medical and dental treatments are so cheap compared to private hospitals back home, no wonder people come to Thailand as medical tourists and get their teeth filled.
Jim and Matty

Dear Jim and Matty,
Thank you so much for the kind words. It just shows how to enjoy life and not get caught up in all the negatives. People seem to forget after a few years here, just how cheap Pattaya is. Sure it has become more expensive in the 15 years you have known us but that is a world-wide situation, but as you have pointed out, it is still very cheap compared to the UK and the western world.

Time differential ruins a timely encounter
Dear Hillary,
One of your correspondents wrote that he was having troubles with his GF who gets up with the roosters and goes to bed after dinner, while he likes to stay up and go to the bars or other night time entertainments. It’s quite obvious that he and the early bird GF are not compatible. He likes the night scene which has 48,396 potential GF’s. Choose one! BTW, I made up that number 48,396, it was a guess. It should probably be more than that, especially as we’ve just had Cobra Gold.

Dear Grant,
I really have to agree with you. Just what does the current GF do for the poor chap? Spends his money and buys in lunch? Definitely doesn’t make breakfast. Maybe they go collecting wildflowers in the afternoon? Or sit together in the park listening to the Pattaya Percussionists and the Beach Road Brass Band? There is the other alternative of course. He joins a common interest group and meets a 45 year old divorcee who likes to talk about herself and all her hard luck till 2 or 3 in the morning. On second thoughts, number 48,396 sounds better. Or her sister 48,395.

Falling in capital L love by an expert
Dear Hillary,
When you meet someone and you know they are the right person for you, it doesn’t matter whether they work in a bar or work in a university. That’s it, they are the one. You are in love. You go on a lot about finding good Thai women, but they are really all the same, so don’t keep on about it. If the girl comes from a bar, just enjoy and ignore the advice from silly old people like Hillary.

Dear James,
What a silly mixed up young boy you are. You are not describing “love” to me, Petal, you are describing infatuation. You are ignoring the fact that girls who work in the bars are in it for the money. Nobody forces them to work there. Undoubtedly a young inexperienced male like you will fall “in love” with a lady from the bar. They are very skilled at making you feel you are the one they have waited for all their life. That is until the next likely lad gets off his plane at Suvarnabhumi. It has been said many times, and this is not a Hillary original, but you can take a girl out of the bar, but you can’t take the bar out of the girl. And ignore the advice from silly young people like James.

Got the grunges?
Dear Hillary,
I notice that some weeks you are all helpful and nice, and other times you are, sorry to say this, very crotchety. Why is this?

Dear Garry,
I am a woman. I have a bicycle, so it’s cyclical. Do you need further explanation? So run away and do boy things for the rest of this week. I’ll be happier next week.

Nok flies with Pattaya Mail
Dear Hillary,
I read the newspaper (pattayamail). To help my english. I like your column so much. Some question is interesting (about road). Not only tourist, but me too. Your suggestion are good for all question.

I think your column can improve my english better than.

Thank you for good column.

Yours sincerely,

Dear Nok,
Thank you for brightening up my day! OK, today’s lessons: “English” always has a capital letter, and it should be “Thank you for a good column”!

Keep up the good work, it will be worth it in the end.