Heart to Heart: Bar girl doesn’t like Mom and Pop store work

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Bar girl doesn’t like Mom and Pop store work
Dear Hillary,
I thought I had met the woman of my dreams in Pattaya. Good English, attentive, attractive and a great personality. After a couple of business trips to Thailand we were getting along so well together that I decided I wanted to improve her situation and help her rise above the “bar” life. I bought her a little convenience store business but suddenly the next time I came over the welcome mat wasn’t there any longer. She was also closing the store early and going back to drink with her old friends at the bar. Even when I was in Pattaya, she would stay out till 2 in the morning drinking and roll home smelling of stale beer. There was no longer any pretense of being pleased to see me back – quite the opposite. I felt like an intruder in my own business when I would call in during the day. By now I have definitely got the feeling that I have been used. What do you think, Hillary? I have read similar tales before, but surely they are not all money grubbers?
Edgar

Dear Edgar,
There are several items to consider, Petal. Did she ask to be elevated above her stool in the bar, or did you decide you wanted her for yourself and the best way was to get her out of the service girl work? Hillary thinks it was probably the latter case, wasn’t it! Now we all need friends, and your girl’s friends would obviously come from the bar environment too. They socialize at night and drink on after the customers have left. Buying her a shop doesn’t give her new friends – it just ties her down and makes being with her old friends even more important. Have you been “used”? In a way yes, but the person who deceived you was in reality yourself. You made her out to be more than she really was. After “a couple of business trips” you invested money in a business venture for a woman you didn’t really know. You should have stuck to being good friends. You would not have done this in your own country, so why “blame” all the bar girls in Pattaya by tarring them all with the same brush? They are not all money grubbers, but remember that at “bar” level you are not dealing with the elite of the society, either in this country, or in yours.



Careful of those chandeliers
Dear Hillary,
Any Thai girl I have had relations with has always said that they are “shy” and even wear a towel after the shower and then put the bra on over the towel and pull the towel out from under the bra. This is after swinging from the shandeliers (sic) all night. You seem to have all the answers, Hillary. What’s the reason?
Gregor

Dear Gregor,
The first thing, Lothario, is you should learn to spell. If you can’t spell a word, then don’t use it. It is chandelier, not “shandelier”. Your word processor will indicate that you have the wrong spelling by putting a wiggly line under the word. You are trying to differentiate between ‘shy’ and ‘shyster’, aren’t you. You forget that any relations you think you are having are very shallow, and your girl’s actions are just to show you that she is ready to leave (after suitable payment of course).



Laundry offering extras
Dear Hillary,
I have a laundry a couple of doors away and the woman who runs it (owns it?) has started to bring my laundry to me, instead of me picking it up from her. She is hinting very big that she wants to stay, even bringing a couple of beers for she and I to drink. She is a single parent but her daughter is grown up. She wants me to take her to dinner. She strips off and jumps in my swimming pool given half a chance and the only way I can get her out is to promise we go for a meal. She is a nice enough person, but I’m not ready for a full on relationship with one person. I am enjoying playing the field. Should I just tell her to go away or break it gently that I’m not interested?
Juan

Dear Juan,
You only “think” you have a problem, when in actual fact you haven’t got a problem at all. All you have to do is tell her that you are going to have a pool party next weekend at 3 p.m. Invite a few mates and tell them to bring their girlfriends and that the party starts at 4 p.m. She will be so embarrassed being caught naked by a bunch of guys she will scamper off and not invite herself into your pool again. Tell her that you will pick up your own laundry because you are getting a dog to stop people coming in, and she will get the hint. If you are supplying champagne at the party remember to invite me as well. No skinny dipping though, my Petal.