Heart to Heart: November 20, 2020


Partners are not maids

Dear Hillary,

These women here are strange creatures. Hot as hell one day and damn icebergs the next and I have absolutely no idea what brings it on. Had a couple of live-ins and I’ve had to give them both the door. Is there some way of finding out what these girls are like before you get too far into the relationship? It doesn’t seem to matter how much salary you pay them, if they get in a snit, that’s it.


Dear Mike,

You are certainly all heart, aren’t you. Pay “them” a salary and you think you own the woman and how she feels. What sort of relationship is that, me Petal? Your “live-ins” are merely “rented wives” (mia chow) and they have no compulsion in leaving, generally by being non-communicative, after which you will have to “buy” them out so they will leave. Mike, you’ve met your match, and you are getting what you deserve. Maids get salaries, partners are not maids, and it is time men like you realized the difference. Any woman who is willing to be your live-in is not trying to impress you. It is a straight out financial arrangement, and the contract can be broken by either side – but if you say it’s over, then you will pay again! Get out of the financial arena and find some nice genuine Thai women who would like to share their lives with you.

Too good to be true?

Dear Hillary,

I met a beautiful tall girl in a bar whose family buffalo was very well, her brother doesn’t ride motorbikes and her mother is in A1 health. What should I look out for as the next step?


Please Support Pattaya Mail

Dear Amazed,

Check the Adam’s apple.

Mother knows best

Dear Hillary,

I have been going out with a wonderful Thai girl, a proper young “lady” not a bar girl, and we have become quite serious and I am now looking into the future. Everything seemed to be going along very well, although we did have some problems, just caused by communication problems (as I can’t speak Thai). The other night she dropped the bombshell. “My mother tell me I must marry Thai man.” Just like that! Hillary, is this a common thing in Thai families? Does her mother have that much power that she can dictate what her daughter does, and even the choice of husband for her? Surely in this 21st century Thai girls are not stuck with arranged marriages, and if they are, what can a farang do in this situation?

Devastated Dave

Dear DD,

Does her mother have that sort of authority? Yes, Dave, in a traditional Thai family she certainly does. It may be the 21st century for you, Dave, but in Thailand it is the 26th century and despite the extra 500 years, the traditional ways are still very strong. Thai people believe in the need for family members to look after each other and her mother is merely looking after her daughter in the traditional way. You are from an alien culture, Petal, and even if your Thai lady is well versed in the ways of the modern international world, the traditional values will still be held by the family. Have you stopped to consider that perhaps the Thai man may have already paid a dowry to the family? In the case of a well-educated girl this could go as high as two million baht. What can you do? You can either keep in there and hope, or call it quits now before you get in too deep. However, you should sit down with your girl and discuss it first.

Blind to pedestrian traffic lights

Dear Hillary,

Have you noticed nobody pays a blind bit of notice to the pedestrian traffic lights on Beach Road? I’ve seen chaps with flags complete with a whistle who jump out in front of the speeding minibuses to help pedestrians get across. I have checked the flag material and it is plastic and no match for the vehicles. Pedestrian crossings are all very fine, but on Beach Road?

James Wilson

Dear James,

When they first went up outside the office, I thought they had done it just for me and I was thrilled. Then I found they were everywhere! Unfortunately James, my column is not going to take your case very far. Being threatened by a baht bus belting through the red lights really isn’t the stuff of heartbroken lovers, but I do understand your annoyance. Instead of protecting the tourists, who will imagine that the traffic will stop, it puts them more in danger. Send your letter to City Hall, my Petal.