Heart to Heart: Lub you too mut – need new assistant


Lub you too mut – need new assistant
Dear Hillary,
Is this a common problem with Thai women? My Thai girlfriend is always very friendly when I am here in Pattaya, but when I go back to England she does not write too often and is even fairly cool in her emails sometimes, especially if I have asked her what she is doing. I send her eight thousand baht a month, so I reckon I have the right to ask. What do you think, Hillary? Do you think I should get an investigator to follow her for a while? I really don’t want to be spending money on someone who doesn’t give me the value in return.

Dear Bob,
What do you expect for 8,000 baht a month Petal? A girlfriend or a long distance slave? Have you also ever stopped to consider that it might be very difficult for her to write to you in English? She is probably having to get someone else to write her side of the emails. Hillary is quite sure you don’t write to her in Thai, do you? So here she is, using her 8,000 baht allowance on internet time and probably having to get a translator to sit in with her as well – and they cost money too. And what does she get in return, my disbelieving Bob? Letters to Hillary asking if you should get her tailed by a Private Dick. Time to grow up Baby Bob. You don’t own anybody ever, and you certainly don’t buy loyalty for 8,000 baht a month. 8,000 baht a month doesn’t even keep Hillary in champagne and chocolates! (I wish).

Work is the curse of the drinking classes
Dear Hillary,
My husband’s job involves him in many social engagements. Unfortunately, at one of these functions I had a little too much to drink (it’s all free at these events) and my husband had to take me home in a hurry. Anyway now my husband says it is better that I don’t go to these parties, so I get left at home with a bottle of wine for company. Should I insist on going with him next event, or let him go on his own? I could ring his boss, but not sure if that is the done thing around here?

Dear Wallflower,
You admit that you did drink too much at the party, and that is a no-no for company wives. I wouldn’t ring his boss, as it is most likely that it is he who is telling your husband that you are banned. Company wives have a difficult role, but you’ve fallen at the first hurdle I fear. Wait a while and don’t keep a bottle of wine at home. I think you might have a problem, my Petal.

Is this part of Brexit?
Dear Hillary,
I am 38 years old and have been in Thailand for six years and have had quite a few Thai girlfriends in that time (both long time and short time). When I first arrived I was blown away by the beauty of the Thai girls and I was forever walking around seeing more and more attractive girls everywhere I looked. However, I have noticed that I am getting excited over the European girls I see in the city and they are becoming more and more desirable every day. Problem is, I don’t know how to approach them. Thai girls make it easy, European girls do not. Where do I go from here? Do you think I have a problem Mrs Hillary?

Dear EU,
Yes, Petal, you do have a problem. Part of your problem is an excess of circulating hormones and the other part is your believing that the grass in the next field is always greener than the one you are in. Bottle the hormones; you’ll need them later when you are older. As far as hopping over the fence into the next field – that is entirely up to you, but do be careful you don’t snag any parts of your undercarriage on the barbed wire. By the way it’s Miss Hillary, thank you!

Dear Hillary,
I have noticed that up-market restaurants have some young person trying to drag you inside. I find it turns me off the place, rather than make me want to eat there. This behavior seems to happen with many restaurants along Second Road and Beach Road, and even is now happening in Jomtien. Why do they do this, as surely they would be better off serving at the tables inside the restaurant? Can you tell me why, as nobody else seems to know the answer?
Picky Eater

Dear Picky Eater,
These people are called “Greeters” in the trade, and their job is just as you said: to entice people inside. Like all people in jobs anywhere, some are better at it than others. The good ones make you feel honored that you have been “chosen” to come into their restaurant, while the not so good make you want to run away. Just take it all in your stride and go and eat at the places you want to go to. With hundreds restaurants in Pattaya, there’s enough to go round. Check Miss Terry Diner’s Dining Out column each week for different places to go.