Heart to Heart – February 21 – March 5, 2020


Dear Hillary,

This is a situation I have experienced all over Asia, so it’s not a “Thai” thing. You want to invite a young lady to dinner. Remember we are not talking about ladies of the night here. This is about ordinary ladies, no buffaloes, no brothers with broken legs and fathers on their last legs in hospital. This is a post about the gentle art of chaperoning. I invited a lady to dinner and she asked if she could bring a friend (a lady), I said certainly. The three of us met at the restaurant which was fine, until three more ladies arrived to sit with us, all who were introduced as sisters of the lady I invited. These sisters all looked like heavy weight wrestlers, nothing like the attractive lady I had invited, they all drank like fish, luckily not champagne, only beer Leo. To cap it all they ordered take away meals to be added to my bill. So 4,000 THB later we parted company. Never to be seen again, my choice by the way Hillary. So please warn your readers of what the “bring a friend” can lead too.



Dear Andrew,

I think the situation you experienced is really quite a common one. How long had you known the attractive lady and the heavyweight wrestler sisters? Sounds to me that you should be doing a bit of groundwork before offering carte blanche at the a la carte. Unfortunately, you young chaps only seem to learn by experience, so I doubt if you will be any different.

Dear Hillary,

My GF has just moved in with me, so everything’s a bit new and I’m pretty unsure too. How much salary should I be paying her? I’ve asked at the pub where I go after work and they all said different amounts from nothing to fifty thousand. She does work in an office job and clears about fifteen thousand baht a month, and will continue to work there. I don’t want to chase her away, now she’s made the decision to bunk in with me. I know others have written to you about this but always seems to be that these are with bar girls who leave the bar and haven’t got a steady income.


Dear Banker,

Love your name, I take it that this has been a mutual decision, the moving in. I also take it that you have known this girl for some time and this wasn’t a spur of the moment decision, with no discussion other than “Wanna move in?” “Yeah, why not.” You are quite correct when you point out that this is not the usual bar girl leaving her source of finance for a “regular” position. Honestly, my Petal, the pair of you have made the decision to move in and ‘share’ and that’s the way the financial side should be looked at. Both of you put a percentage of your salaries into a kitty which is used to spend on household expenses like food, cleaning materials. Discuss with the GF what she thinks is a reasonable sum for living expenses and then work out the split between your two salaries to make up that sum. You both should have more to spend on yourselves because the other party is helping pay living expenses. Do not think about giving her a “salary”, she already gets a salary from her office job, and you get a salary as well, I presume. You should be living together because you want to be near each other, not adding another job to your lives.

Dear Hillary,

How do you turn off the vacuum cleaners operating out of Soi Half Dozen? I have found that the lovely lady sitting beside me seems to be able to clean out my wallet and all done with the big smile, for which they are famous I am told. So famous that they clean every little nook or cranny and I end up borrowing money from a mate just to get home. Help me please Hillary.


Dear Jacques,

You are wondering how to stop the Soi 6 vacuum cleaners who seemed to be able to clean out your wallet very easily. My advice is simple. Try going out with the idea of only having 500 baht cash only on you…or 1000 note and a ten baht coin on you for a return songthaew. Leave your credit, debit, and ATM cards locked in your safe. Don’t worry, in due course you will be the least popular farang on Soi 6. Perhaps then, rather than visiting with Soi 6 vacuum cleaners, you will put effort into finding a woman who could perhaps look after you. This is if you are looking for “true love” actually of course, but I doubt you are. By the way, 10 baht songthaews around Soi Half Dozen? Are you living in Soi 6/1?