Any fries to go with that beer?


Dear Hillary,

This is not leaving the door open for you to send me a “Dear John” letter in reply, but what is wrong with these people who write to you claiming they have been hard done by a girl from the bar? That’s like saying I didn’t get a BBQ rock lobster in McDonalds. You get what you pay for, be that food or female company. How do you get the message across?



Dear Quentin,

I shall refrain from putting “San” in your name. The reason the deluded drinkers think that rock lobster is on the menu is because the “waitresses” are very good at up-selling and then convincing them that the som tam cart really is rock lobster. Next time tell them to try reading the menu without beer glasses.


Met a woman at a function the other night. Middle aged, pleasantly plump, laughing personality and interested in me (I think). How do I find out if she is married or whatever?



Dear Reg,

Try asking her. Please contact Les in the letter above you. You could start a club. You have a lot in common.