Richard L. Fellner
Talking about ‘sex addiction’ in Pattaya is like talking about alcoholism during
the Oktoberfest in Munich: a firework of dirty jokes and winking confessions
(‘yes, I’m an addict, too!’) are standard elements of these conversations.
However, few people seem to know what sex addiction really is or means.
Sexual addiction (sometimes also called sexual dependency or
sexual compulsivity) means that a person is unable to manage her sexual
behavior, which is described as ‘compulsive’ in the Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) of the American Psychiatric Association. It
is thus often also referred as ‘hypersexuality’ in many papers. Excessive sexual
drive can cause distress or serious problems not only for the affected persons
but also to persons associated with them. Usually they invest a lot of time and
money to satisfy their obsession with various activities related to sex, and may
risk losing their jobs, ruining their relationships, interfering with their
social life, and putting themselves at risk for emotional and physical injury.
While for many, their behavior won’t progress beyond compulsive masturbation or
the extensive use of pornography or paid sex services, for others, the addiction
can involve illegal activities such as exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone
calls, sexual harassment or abuse and especially here in Asia, violating various
local laws like filming sexual activities or organizing sex parties. Many sex
addicts spend high percentages of their money due to their lowered sexual
inhibitions - basically, most of their money-making and thinking ultimately
turns around satisfying their sex drive. However, sex addicts hardly gain
lasting satisfaction from their sexual activities and rarely form emotional
bonds with their sex partners. To many, it feels like constant hunting - without
ever achieving the satisfaction of feeling full.
Unfortunately, it is also typical for sex addicts to engage
in distorted thinking - justifying and rationalizing their behavior and blaming
others for the problems that arise as a result of their actions. As long as
possible, they will deny they have a problem and find excuses for their
behavior. Thus, it usually takes a significant event like the loss of their job,
the break-up of their marriage, an arrest or a health crisis, to force the
addict to admit that there is indeed a problem.
While professionals are still struggling with the exact
definition and diagnosis of hypersexuality / sex addiction, there is no doubt
that this disorder exists. Hypersexuality is also a criterion symptom of mania
in bipolar disorders and schizoaffective disorders and often linked to
depression or other forms of addiction, like alcoholism or drug abuse. Treatment
of sexual addiction focuses on controlling the addictive behavior and helping
the person develop a healthy sexuality.
