Dear Hillary,

Does anyone else have the same problem as me? A farang wife, yes I know I brought sand to the beaches, but she has to do a visa run every few months - and she forgets. She is a very independent woman and won’t let me take charge of keeping the visas current. Only problem is I end up having to pay for over-stays and that’s getting expensive these days. What do you recommend I do?
Vic the visa runner

Dear Vic the visa runner,
This is very easy to fix. Give her the independence she want, let her arrange her own visas - and let her pay for her own overstays. If she does it too often she will get deported as well, so you might kill two birds with one stone here.

Dear Hillary,
I am trying (with little success) to persuade my wife that we should consider selling up our house in England and move to Thailand or at least consider this as an option when we retire (and that’s now 66). We normally come to Thailand twice a year for holidays. My wife is a demon for sunbathing and I have caught the golf bug, so obviously Thailand suits us both. My problem is persuading “she who must be obeyed” that a permanent move to Thailand is an excellent idea. She is of the opinion that she would soon get bored and there is little else for her to do other than laze around by the pool or on the beach. Can you offer any advice on how to persuade her that a move to Thailand would not necessarily be boring? Any advice or ideas on how to persuade my wife to move would be gratefully accepted.

In a previous column you were asked about why there were so many golf tourists in Thailand. You quite rightly pointed out that there were many wonderful courses and they were considerably cheaper than elsewhere in the world. You forgot to mention the wonderful smiling caddies who just carry on smiling no matter how bad you play. It really is a golfing paradise.
Golfing George

Dear Golfing George,
UK or Thailand? It’s a lay down misere, surely! However, let me look at what could be keeping her in the UK. With us women folk, Petal, there are often hidden agendas that you men just do not realize or even consider to be important. There may be more to it than ideas of boredom. What about these for starters? Children? From your letter I presume that retirement isn’t all that far off, so they should all be grown up. Grandchildren? Perhaps. Her own parents? The security of having the house in the UK versus the “uncertainty” of life and ownership of real estate in Thailand? These are all issues that you should explore. As regards boredom, ask any of the members of the various ladies clubs if they are bored. Run off their feet more likely. I suggest that next time you come over on holidays get your wife to contact them and see where that leads. You will find the listings in this newspaper.

Dear Hillary,
I am working in the Middle East and I come here regularly for many weeks at a time. On these trips over here I generally find that there will be a very suitable young lady who will indicate that she would like to take care of me, and a suitable (financial) arrangement can be entered into. The problem is one young lady is trying to tie me down. How do I get her to understand that this is not a lifetime relationship, just a few weeks, and when I go back to work I will want her to leave the condo and take all of the things that she has managed to bring over in the last two weeks?
Sandy Sam

Dear Sandy Sam,
You have just found out that you can’t have your cake and eat it too! She has been taking care of you, so now you must take a little care of her and her feelings. Now is the time to spell it all out, my Petal. Tell her to take her things and go - but sweeten it with a suitable financial donation.

Dear Hillary,
I don’t know if you answer ‘food’ questions, but here goes anyway. I have seen people eating what looks like an egg ‘parcel’ with meat inside it. They cook it in the wok and fold the egg over like wrapping a flat square object. What is it? And would it be too spicy for someone like me who is a little afraid of spicy food? I really do want to try but I am just a little afraid to go in and point!
Spicy Sue

Dear Spicy Sue,
I am sure you are referring to a Thai omelet, called ‘kai yat sai’. Generally it is pork based, but you can get chicken as well - ask for kai yat sai moo (pork) or kai yat sai gai (chicken). When it comes to the table it will have a little bowl of red ketchup - but beware, it is chili, not tomato! Around 50 baht at most food carts. Enjoy!