What did we learn from the Malaysian GP?
What did we learn from Malaysia? Well, we
learned that Bernie Ecclestone, just like King Canute,
cannot control the world’s tides, times and weather. We also
learned that in the monsoon season in Malaysia it rains late
every afternoon, and we learned that it gets dark around
6.30 p.m. We also learned that the “I” in the FIA stands for
“Indecision” or perhaps just “Inept”. What had looked like
being a good event, eventually became a farce.
Bernie Ecclestone and his lap dog Charlie Whiting are
totally to blame for making F1 a laughing stock. In his
desperation to allow the European viewers an extra hour in
bed on the Sunday mornings with the delayed starting times
from Australia and Malaysia, this runs the race into
darkness, and at last count no F1 car has headlights. Then
the 50 minutes delay while Charlie made up his mind as to
whether the race could continue. Of course it couldn’t
continue. Blind Freddie could have told you that, Charlie.
And if Blind Freddie wasn’t enough, all the drivers said
they wanted it stopped, and the drivers are the ones who put
on the show, Bernie and Charlie. No, Charlie dithered (at
best) and prevaricated (at worst) to keep the television
transmission going for the two hours allocated to the Bernie
show. To send some lackey down under an FIA umbrella (in
more ways than one) to the drivers to say that all drivers
from P3 backwards will have to unlap themselves first before
the ‘race’ could continue is sheer lunacy. How, pray tell? I
am sure it was just coincidence that had Charlie officially
stopping the race three minutes before the end of the two
hour telecast. A sorry (and soggy) day for Formula 1.
My pick for star driver of the evening (I was about to write
“day” but changed my mind) was Kimi Raikkonen. Whilst the
other sodden drivers were standing muttering ankle deep in
water on the main straight, Kimi had parked his car in the
pits, gone off and had a shower and changed into clean
civvies and was eating a chocolate coated ice cream when the
FIA finally stopped the race. Well done, Kimi.
However, all credit to (Ross) Brawn GP, in producing a car
that can win in the dry and the wet. Button deserves his
second win on the trot, despite his woeful start. Barichello
is currently a good back-up, but not really challenging
Button, unlike last year where he was the better of the two
under the Honda banner.
Toyota have become a real force to be reckoned with. Trulli
and Glock doing very well, though Glock’s third place was
through the luck of the tyre draw and where the car was at
the end of the 31st lap (red flagging means the cars go back
to where they were at the end of the lap before the red
flag).
Heidfeld (BMW) was even luckier, but Kubica must be
wondering at what is going on with the famed German team,
with his engine failing on the warm-up lap. He then tried to
start, hoping that God would come down and fix his engine.
He didn’t. In fact, I doubt very much whether God would even
bother watching the Bernie and Charlie show. There’s better
endings in Thai soap operas. At least the hero gets the
girl.
Other drivers who showed the ability to ‘race’ included
Webber (Red Bull), Alonso (Renault) and Hamilton (McLaren).
Drivers who have no clue how to race included Kovalainen
(McLaren), Piquet (Renault) and Nakajima (Williams).
The next race is Shanghai on April 19. Let us hope that the
FIA listens to the F1 fans by then.
Natter Nosh and Noggin
The monthly car enthusiasts meeting will be at
Jameson’s Irish Pub on Soi AR next to the Nova Park
development. The car (and bike) enthusiasts meet on the
second Monday of the month, so this time it is Monday (April
13) at Jameson’s at 7 p.m. This is a totally informal
meeting of like-minded souls to discuss their pet motoring
(and motorcycling) loves and hates. Many interesting debates
come from these evenings. Come along and meet guys who have
a common interest in cars and bikes, and enjoy the Jameson’s
Steak night special, washed down with a few beers.
Autotrivia Quiz
Last week I mentioned that the first
manufacturer to produce a million cars anywhere was Ford in
1922. I asked what was the first British car to sell over
one million units? The answer was the Sir Alec Issigonis’
Morris Minor between 1948-1961. Not the Mini as many of you
thought.
So to this week. Do you listen to the radio on the way to
work? What was the first British car to offer such an
option? And when?
For the Automania FREE beer this week, be the first correct
answer to email [email protected]
Good luck!
More on the Bangkok
International Motor Show
Last week was mainly a run-down on the cheap
Chinese offerings, and they were certainly cheap at under B.
400,000. The interiors were, however, very nasty. I had gone
to the show fully expecting to have put a deposit on one, to
replace the mighty Mira, but I could not see myself driving
the plastic interiors - acres of buff colored plastic.
Mazda
Sassou
Several of the exhibitors showed a remarkable lack of
marketing of their products. Parking a few of your vehicles,
like on a parking lot, does nothing to excite the senses and
make your cars more desirable. GM had plenty of cars lined
up in rows (but nothing new) and the most exciting thing
they could do was to dress up a Captiva with shiny wheels
and bright crystals around the grille. Perhaps they thought
that having presenters with Afro wigs would quicken the
senses. They were wrong.
Across from GM was Mazda, which had some tarted up Mazda3’s
and an MX5 on a stand. They did also have the Sassou concept
car which heralded the styling cues for the Mazda2. They
also displayed all the awards they had won, so somebody did
think and try to brighten up their stand. However, I have
been told that a gentleman went there to order an MX5, but
gave up when the sales person had no idea of delivery or
color! He then went to the VW stand to ask about the VW
Scirocco (featured last week) and the “sales” person could
give no information of colors or delivery either. He went to
BMW and bought a 3-Series. There is a lesson here for
somebody!
Nissan
370 Z
Mitsubishi had their new Pajero Sport SUV on display, but
some imaginative comparisons between their product and the
Toyota Fortuner might have got them some more orders.
Ford had the new Focus TDCi. This is a pretty car and with
the direct injection diesel engine will be very economical.
Other than that, the stand was cluttered up with Ford
pick-ups which are about as exciting as a cold porridge
sandwich. Report card says: Can do better!
Isuzu has a problem. The demand for pick-ups is falling,
while the demand for passenger cars increases. But Isuzu
only has pick-ups. Painting one in shiny silver isn’t enough
to reverse the trend. Price cutting would!
Honda
Insight
Toyota had many cars on display, including the ‘all-new’
Yaris - with the all-new front bumper and grille. They had a
stand full of ‘information’ girls who thought that their
reason for being was to smile and give pretty V signs for
photographers. It may generate photo traffic, but it doesn’t
sell cars, sorry Toyota-San.
While on the ‘all new’, Nissan had the ‘all new’ Teana,
which looks exactly like the old one, other than around the
headlights. I think they did the right thing by hiding it
between their other vehicles. Of interest was the Nissan 370
Z, well displayed on a revolving plinth. Looks great from
all angles. It would have been nice to have a GTR on
display, but no joy, though there was one down in the
accessories area. The other noteworthy item at Nissan was
the Frontier pick-ups which were drive away at B. 29,999 and
terms on 2.999 percent interest.
Mercedes-Benz
E-Class coupe
Honda did show a couple of their race
cars, a Civic and a Jazz, but with Honda having pulled out
of F1 this may not have been the best time to display
corporate motor sport spending. The Insight was nicely
presented, but with no firm pricing and the interest in fuel
misers waning, it did not generate much interest from Joe
Public. The new Accord looked stunning in white, and it is
easy to see why they have been selling well.
Mercedes-Benz had the premier launch of the new RHD version
of the E-Class coupe. A very nice looking motor car, but the
price tag of nearly 8 million baht for the AMG version on
the stand will frighten away most people. The CLC sports
coupe at half the price looks very good in comparison. The
new generation B-Class 180 Cdi sports tourer at 2.8 million
also deserves more than a passing look.
BMW
M1 Hommage
BMW I mentioned last week, and their stand was so
predictable, it looked as if the same cars were sitting on
the same spots as last year. The M1 Hommage was a huge
disappointment. It was a huge whale of a car which did not
excite, and incidentally hidden at the back of the stand.
BMW would have done better to bring it to the front where
they had the Z4. It is a more eye-catching vehicle than the
Z, with its size if nothing else.
Lexus was there, and quite frankly, Lexus has lost the plot.
The big LS 460L looks exactly like a BMW Bangle 7-Series
side on. The open iS250 coupe has a huge backside on it,
complete with another Bangle bustle. Here we have BMW toning
the unloved rump down, and Lexus adopting it. Lexus was a
leader for a short time with the iS250, but no longer.
Yontrakit Corporation displayed Naza, Kia, Citroen and Audi,
but were in one of the subsidiary tents, sharing space with
motorcycles, boats and a handful of vintage cars. The
traffic past their stand would have been much more if they
had secured space in the main exhibition hall. The Audi Q5
is quite a motor car, and at 3.49 million baht should be
considered by anyone interested in the luxury SUV end of the
market.
Lexus iS250
