The Beautiful Game?: Hammers spice up transfer window

Riz Taylor
So there I was, slouched on an office chair deep in the darkest corridors of the Pattaya Mail’s headquarters off Second Road last Thursday. It was late, very late, and I battled to keep my eyes open as my contract discussions wore on into the night. My enormous wage demands were holding up negotiations, but as directors dithered I decided that the time was right to play hardball and slap in a transfer request.
Still the Mail resisted, even suggesting that I was past my best and that I could easily be replaced by a younger, hungrier columnist. I thumped my fist on the table and reminded them of the glory days, those moments of brilliance I’d given them over the past year, such as that interesting article on Brighton and Hove Albion and the gags about Jose Mourinho.
It shouldn’t have come to that, but my tantrum was to have the desired effect. Eventually they caved into my demands, but not before threatening to loan me out to the Sri Racha Gazette, or worse one of the big North Eastern newspapers where the pay is great but the area somewhat uninspiring and lacking in much in the way of action.
That was the story of closing moments of Thailand’s newspaper transfer window, the tense tale that ensures you’re stuck with me for another season, you lucky readers. Let me say now that I love this paper and its wonderful fans, and never for a moment did I ever really consider leaving. Oh, and about the clause in my new contract - yes it says that I can leave for a bigger paper in Singapore if one comes in, but I’d like to state that I have no intention of writing in Singapore. Not at this time.
Sounds a familiar story? Well it should, because that very scene was repeated across the football world last Thursday as the transfer window came to a close. Bargaining, bravado and even begging all played their part as clubs raced against the clock to improve their squads. It was the last opportunity to do so before a distant January, the last chance to add the final pieces of the jigsaw and move on the pieces that don’t quite fit in.
I’ve not been a fan of transfer windows in the past, lambasting the system since it arrived a few years ago. And why not? The window took from me one of my favourite parts of the game - the cheeky mid-season transfer. From a fan’s point of view, what was to be gained from this new system?
Yet, like my theory that Owen Hargeaves was an overrated Canadian that only found his way into the England squad because he possessed some compromising photos of Sven Goran Eriksson at the sauna, early impressions can be wrong. Amazingly I’m coming to love the transfer window and the effect it has on clubs across the world. Now, with a strict deadline that cannot be broken, clubs with desperate needs for players in certain areas are forced into signings that may not have appeared on their original list of potential targets. What’s that, the first choice striker has been snapped up by Chelsea? Damn. And the second too? What about the third guy?
Ever been into a shop and come away with something you didn’t really want? I know I have. Such is my loathing of all things shopping that my rare visits to the mall often result in complete disaster. It’s called ‘panic purchasing’ - the art of buying something purely because you feel you should, or because the thought of shopping again fills you with horror. I am a self-proclaimed master of the art.
In August last year Tottenham were in the hunt for a central midfielder to compliment their already overflowing squad. With time pressing on and with more and more targets becoming unavailable, manager Martin Jol headed out to the shops and came back with Jermaine Jenas from Newcastle United.
Jermaine Jenas isn’t a bad footballer, I’ll grant you, but Newcastle must have thought Christmas had come early when Spurs offered a staggering seven million pounds for his services. The deal done, it quickly became apparent that Jol had been guilty of panic purchasing. In family-oriented Pattaya terms he’d gone to Carrefour for a pair of trendy jeans and come back with a pair of expensive beige corduroys that also might turn out to be a couple of sizes too small, not to mention unfashionable.
Enough of the trouser-related analogies. You see the point - Jol had seen the gap in his squad and attempted to plug it, only to be denied his original targets and come away with a player that would never fill the requirement for a solid midfield general at White Hart Lane.
And that’s why I’m slowly starting to enjoy the transfer window system. Until deadline day this window seemed little different to previous ones, but at the last moment a number of eyebrow-raising deals went through. There are too many too mention here, but notably Chelsea finally agreed a player-plus-cash deal that saw William Gallas and five million pounds head to Arsenal in exchange for Ashley Cole after months of speculation, whilst Portsmouth picked up England veteran and another Cole, Andy this time, from Manchester City.
City themselves have gambled on PSV and United States forward DaMarcus Beasley to replace him, Kevin Kilbane left Everton for Paul Jewell’s Wigan, Newcastle secured the services of Antoine Sibierski and Jason Euell has ended his stay at Charlton by linking up with new Middlesbrough boss Gareth Southgate at the Riverside.
And so on. Covering every move in this column is impossible, so instead let’s look at a truly staggering deal brokered by West Ham as the transfer window came to a close. The late signing of Argentinian pair Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano could well be the most outstanding piece of business carried out on any transfer deadline day since its inception.
Chances are you’ll not have heard of these players before, but the pair are about to set Upton Park alight if you believe the hype. Mascherano is a defensive midfielder that played every minute of Argentina’s World Cup campaign, whilst Tevez is in the Maradona mould; a short but heavily-built trickster who’ll put a few experienced defenders on their backsides before May arrives.
But why West Ham? How did two players linked with mega-money moves to the likes of Manchester United and Real Madrid over the summer possibly end up playing for former double glazing fitter Alan Pardew come September?
I’m sorry to end any romantic ideas anyone has, if that’s possible in modern football, but the answer seems to lie with cold, hard cash. It seems that MSI, the investment company that holds the registrations of the two players, has moved the players to Upton Park in the hope of a transfer jackpot when the two have proven themselves in a European league. It appears that West Ham are merely acting as a feeder club before a megabucks move to one of the big boys.
“There is no way West Ham would act as a feeder club for others,” said a spokesman for the club shortly after the deal, but then followed that with “These are exciting signings for us but if we were offered major fees for the players in the future we would have to consider it - just as we would with other players.”
So that clears that up. Of course this isn’t the first time that a pair of Argentinian footballers have turned up in London - some readers will remember Ossie Ardiles and Ricky Villa’s arrival at Tottenham almost 30 years ago - but the nature of this move is certainly new to English football. But even if the deal means West Ham are merely a shop window for the bigger fish, why would their fans care about that if Mascherano and Tevez can propel the Hammers onto greater things? I’ve yet to hear of a West Ham fan who isn’t excited by the arrival of these two, and surely that’s the way it should be, whatever the motive behind the deal.
That’s it for this week, don’t forget to check out the kick-off times listed below for this weekend’s Live TV games which include West Ham hosting a revived Aston Villa on Sunday.
See you next week.
Saturday, Sept. 9:
Everton v Liverpool - 6:45pm
Arsenal v Middlesbrough - 9pm
Chelsea v Charlton - 9pm
Man Utd. v Tottenham - 11:15pm
Sunday, Sept, 10
West Ham v Aston Villa - 10pm

Brian makes it two in a row

I.P.G.C. Golf with The Caddy Shack

Friday, August 31, the golfers from The Caddy Shack traveled to The Emerald for a Stableford competition. The condition of the course is improving again and the weather was ideal with a light breeze through the mountain views. The greens were as usual very tricky with pin positions placed in the hardest places.

Brian Jacks, joint winner at the Emerald with Mark Joshua.

The results of the day were Don Francis and Roy Mitchell tied for 3rd spot with 33 points a-piece and Mark Joshua and Brian Jacks tied for 1st place with level par rounds.
Mark Joshua was the only golfer to achieve a “two” on a hole to take the pot. Big Ronnie left himself wide open for the booby prize with his 10 points off his 36 handicap ... Keep trying Ronnie, there is room for improvement next time!
The Caddy Shack is now back to normal after we have moved premises. We play twice a week, Tuesdays and Fridays and we leave at 10am. We are situated on Soi 17 next to The Harley Bar and we are offering a golfers’ special which includes a breakfast and evening meal all for 100 Baht. We are also staging quizzes every Friday at 8.30pm and all are welcome.

‘Dougie’ leads the way at Burapha

PSC golf from The Peacock Place

Monday, August 28, Burapha,
Stableford
Another week and our group of 24 golfers gathered at The Peacock Place to enjoy a hearty breakfast and talk about their hopes and aspirations; not necessarily concerning golf.
Our venue for the day was Burapha G.C and we had reserved a tee time of 10.30am as usual. It’s only a wedge from The Peacock so we didn’t need to leave for the club until 9.30am. Cars were shared to cut down petrol costs and we all arrived there in good time. We were asked to Play C & D courses which I must say I had never played before and very interesting they turned out to be.
The layout as usual was in great condition and the greens ran true and fast: downhill puts were particularly treacherous. My only criticism is the bunkers. The sand is too deep and too soft and as a result, if your shot came into them from a height, you got a plugged lie. Almost impossible to make a decent bunker shot out of them. The green fee on Sports Day is only 550 baht which I think is very generous for such a fine golf course.
The handicap cut on the day was 0 to 15 for A Flight and 16 to 35 for B Flight and in the main, some fine golf was played: fifty percent of the field scored more than 36 points and the remaining half played not far away from 30 points.
In the A Flight, Bill Crossan (6) scored 37 points and took top honors, followed by the runner-up Dave Arrowsmith (7), who scored 36 points. It’s nice to see the A Flight competitions being won by 36 points or there abouts. It gives low handicap golfers some heart.
The B Flight was won by Brendan Dougle (Dougie) with 43 points. Dougie’s handicap continues to plummet following some good scores and this time he will be cut yet again. Second place was shared by Doug Jeffery and Wendy Khan, both with 40 points and who will also be cut following their spectacular efforts. Well done guys.
There were nine “twos” recorded and after the pot was divided up, each winner was awarded a trifling 150 baht. Never mind.
Thursday, August 31, Bangpra,
Stableford
Thursday, and our group was scheduled to play at Bangpra GC, always a favourite venue of mine. We gathered at The Peacock Place as usual at around 8am and one by one our party arrived. We didn’t need to leave for the club until 9.15am and by that time the headcount was thirteen. Possibly one of the smallest groups we have had since our start but I believe there was a senior’s competition organized by PSC that day and a number of our elder statesmen had plumped for that.
After organizing the car share, we headed off and arrived at the golf club just before 10am. The course was, as always, in great condition, the greens fast and true and the fairways immaculate. The bunkers were firm and fair. We played a Stableford competition and due to the low turnout we only had one flight but decided to award three prizes.
Ray Dell took the third prize with 33 points, John Hillier was second with 36 points and a newcomer to our group, Jeff Wylie also scored 36 points and won on count-back. There were 2 “twos”, shared by Brendan (Dougie) Dougal and our Captain Bob Philp. Also present were a couple of first timers to our group and I think their first time playing golf in Thailand; namely Alan Jones and Dave Pawson. Welcome on-board guys.
We all returned to The Peacock to enjoy another wonderful complimentary buffet prepared by Dou’s staff, where the presentations were made and a few beers sunk. While I retired at a modest hour, I later discovered that some of our party stayed on till the late hours and were a little fragile the following day. What else is there to do in Pattaya?
If you’re looking for a game of golf with a friendly society, come and join us at The Peacock Place opposite Mabprachan Lake on Siam Country Club Road on Mondays and Thursday. We meet at around 8am, or call Bob Philp our Captain on 07 941 2474 for further details. Our weekly schedule is posted in The Pattaya Mail.

Perry takes first ‘Golfer of the Month’ award

PSC golf from Tropical Bert’s

Tuesday, August 29, Khao Kheow, Stableford
This being the last Tuesday of the month, the new Alan Bolton ‘Player of The Month’ award came into being, and three players were still in the running to win, so breakfast was a quiet time.

Steve presents the ‘Golfer of the Month’ trophy to Perry.
Onto the course, and the A & C nines were chosen for the day, and as all players know, not only is Khao Kheow tough, but this particular combination is a real test. The thought was that if anyone shot their handicap they could win. One this occasion, the assumption was to be wrong.
The Pete Dye designed course was in good condition, if still wet from the recent rains, and the wind was as is usual lately, strong. No doubt the going was tough, but would it affect the scores?
Back at Bert’s and not only were the day’s scores worked out, but also the month’s ratings. It soon became apparent that one player had scooped both awards and not only that, but he had also had a great day. And so the winner on the day was Perry McNeely, with what he said was his ‘best round this century’, with Mashi Kaneta in second.
This meant that Perry was also the player who scored most points in the month and was thus awarded the Alan Bolton Property Agents, ‘Player of the Month’. Steve Carlten, one of the associates did the presentation of the trophy and the prizes.
T.T.F.N.
Near Pin: Perry McNeely, Donald Hendry, Derek Brook, Anders Pederson.

‘Birthday Boy’ smiles, but not for long

Jomtien golf with the I.P.G.C.

‘Birthday Boy’ Ken Foster celebrates with the staff at Paweenas Bar.

Monday, August 28, Treasure Hills, Stableford
A warm welcome awaited Mr. Dennis Byrne and the newly wed Miss Noy after tying the knot in Prachaub Khiri Khan at the weekend.
The 27 members set off for the ever so difficult Treasure Hills course. The toughness of this layout was obvious from the start as there was no Div 1 nearest the pin marker anywhere on the putting surface on the 213 yd par three, second hole. There was also a double rollover prize to be won on the “twos” competition today. Later, sitting back in the clubhouse after the round and perusing the day’s scores, I heard a few whinges as the players came in, and they were right.
In Div 2, Miss Am now playing off 27 came in first with 33 points followed by Dan Tracey with 31 and Miss Beth on 30. Ben Findon also scored 33 in Div1 to take the first prize, 1 point behind him was Daz Martindale and the newly returned Geff Stubbs notched third place with 30 pts.
Nearest the pins today, well there was only one winner in Div 1, Geff Stubbs collected the wine for his shot on the 13th, while in Div 2 Les Hall won the Nike balls and Dan Tracey also selected the wine for the 6th and 17th holes respectively. The ladies tipple was won again by Tony Duthie with an impressive 13 points. The Rich Man Poor Man free freshly baked pizza voucher was won by Ken Foster.
Wednesday, August 30, Burapha,
Stableford
Twenty-one players left Paweenas today for a triple rollover in the “twos” competition on the C and D courses at Burapha: not everyone’s choice for these two nines, many preferring the A and B, but still a challenge awaiting them.
A warm welcome to the ‘minus the pony tail’ Rick Newman after all these years, he should have won the ladies tipple. Colin Mearns won the wine for his nearest the pin effort on the 5th and Paddy Wilson took the Div1 prize on the 8th. Believe it or not, there were no flags for any division on the 11th or 17th holes.
Derek Eastham and Andy Mills both shot 32 points in the top division but Derek won on count back 16 to 15. Miss Am (the scissors are out again) shot 40 to win the Div 2 prize and Bev came in second with 36.
The “twos” challenge was the talking point for most of the round and it was kept quite back in the clubhouse until we all got back. Paddy Wilson got one on the 5th and birthday boy (75 today) Ken Foster on the 8th: there were loud cheers for him and even more so as Miss Am rang the bell on his behalf, the face dropped a mile. Cheers Ken.
Friday, September 1, Eastern Star,
(Ryder Cup - Jomtien v Pattaya)
There were 16 players from Jomtien Golf and the OK Corral fighting it out in an eight pairs matchplay competition on a very hot day at Eastern Star for this prestigious prize.
Harry and Saranya Riley beat our ever improving Miss Am and Chris Holmes by 2; Alan Duckett playing off 18 had three gross birdies on the first five holes to demoralize Arthur Hancock and Mikael Andersson for a while, before they bounced back on the back nine with three themselves. The best win of the day was John Cunningham and Bill Hewitts 7 and 6 victory. The final result 4-4, and with the 16 single matchplay games at Green Valley on the 15th this month, this competition will be closely contested. The best of luck to both sides.
Jomtien Golf meets every Monday and Wednesday at Paweenas on Soi 5, Jomtien Beach Road and departs at around 9.15am for a 10.30 tee off time. Transport and club hire are available at the bar. Please sign upn the bar or contact Glyn on 068 375 464

Stockman corrals a fine win

IPGC Pattaya Golf Society at the OK Corral

Tuesday, August 29, saw the Pattaya Golf Society depart from the OK Corral for the short trip to Eastern Star to play their weekly medal event. Under overcast skies the two flights took to the tee on schedule and found the course in surprisingly good condition but with very slow greens.

Ray Underwood receives his “Player of the Month” award from Mr. Denis

The cut was at 14 and under, meaning that some otherwise good golfers found themselves rubbing shoulders with lesser lights whilst a third of the field had handicaps of less than ten. It was another high quality field with the PGS.
In the second flight, a returning Andy Haycox re-established his reputation with a gritty net 75 to take third place whilst Don Nellis went two better and took second. Belgian golfer Emiel van der Wiele made the top of the podium for the first time with an excellent net 72, making it the first Belgian victory at the OK for more than two years, since the halcyon days of Remy Guy.
In a top class division, one John Cunningham tied with Stuart Thompson on net 71, John three-putting four times during his round, leaving him with dreams of what might have been. Dave Stockman took the day with a fine score of net 70 and it was a product of his local knowledge, him being a member at Eastern Star.
Another member, Arthur Hancock, took the large pot for the day’s only birdie two on the seventeenth. On the other hand the game had turned full circle for Andy Mills who two weeks previously at Laem Chabang had shot a gross 74, as his promiscuous gross 94, net 87, deserved nothing more than the Booby Bevy. Never mind Andy, better times still lie ahead at the Pattaya Golf Society.
Almost perfect for Andersson
The final day of August saw the Pattaya Golf Society play its tenth competitive event of the month, this time at Phoenix, over the Mountain and Lakes nines. It was also the culmination of an exciting “Player of the Month” series which saw Ray Underwood take his first ever golf trophy after some particularly fine performances all month.
The Phoenix field was cut at sixteen and under and high stableford point scores were the order for the day.
In Division Two, Emiel van der Wiele continued his good form by notching third place with 37 points, just one behind Paul Quodomine, for whom the course is something of a favourite. Paul was gazumped however by Keith Hector who had only returned to Thailand the day before and he shook off his jetlag with a glorious forty points to win the flight in style.
In Division One, Harry Riley scored 37 points for third place with Stuart Thompson amassing 39 points for second place.
The day belonged to Mikael Andersson however and his round will live long in his memory. Mikael has never shot level par “off the sticks” and it remains his dearest ambition. This time he had a fifteen foot put for an eagle on the final hole, which would have given him gross 71, but nerves got the better of his attention and he three-putted to complete a still fine round of forty points. Be patient Mikael, it’ll come.
There were no birdie “twos” and the Booby Bevy went to Dave Avenell for his absence on Tuesday, when he was guaranteed the award for forgetting his own birthday until it only had ten minutes left to run! Cheers Dave!

Sports Bag: Golf as we know it

In the country where I learned golf - England - it is considered an honourable sport, as is the case in most countries where it is played. When I started I was told the object was to improve my skills in order to lower my scores and reduce my handicap.
Unfortunately in Pattaya there is a small minority who thinks this is the wrong attitude to have. Their objective and skills appears to be in manipulating the system so as to score well in competitions while maintaining or even increasing their handicaps.
In most countries if one played exactly to ones handicap twice in a week they would be considered to be playing extremely well. Here it is not that unusual for some players to have ‘the round of their life’ - 6 to 8 under their handicap - 2 or 3 times in a week. What is it that motivates these people to play off handicaps that they know are obviously wrong? Is it the 1000 baht or so prize money, the plastic 500 baht trophy or is it seeing their photo grinning inanely in the local paper 3 times in a week?
It used to be that the conversation after a round of golf over a drink was what a great day it had been, the condition of the course or the 40-foot putt someone had made. Now it is frequently about a Mr. XXX who is still winning everything in sight off a handicap he and the world know to be false. Should we be angry towards these cheats or be sorry for them in that the rest of their life has such little substance they have to resort to this behavior to survive?
Yours Sincerely
Harvey S

The Square Ring

by Howie Reed

Got to give a shout out to the Jesters Children’s Fair and Family Day this Sunday. No soft opening it’s the real thing on Sunday at the Diana Garden Resort & Driving Range. Food, drink and good times. Be there or be square. More adult fun will be found at Jameson’s “The Irish Pub” on September 16 from 18:30 as a part of the Jesters Children’s program. Hope they score a KO.
The really big fight last week, with a nod of the head to Clinton Woods (39-3-1) vs. Glenn Johnson (44-10-2) for the IBF light heavy title, was James “Lights Out “ Toney (69-4-2) against Samuel “The Nigerian Nightmare” Peter (26-1) in Los Angeles California.
The lead up was filled mostly with Toney’s foul mouth and Peter’s stiff silence. When they met the press for the last time before the fight, both acted like professional athletes.
“All the talkin’ that’s been going on the last couple of months is going to cease and desist. I’m going to be right there. I’m not going nowhere. That’s how I fight. I’m a real fighter”, said Toney. He closed with, “I’m the only heavyweight champion out there. The other four don’t even count.”
In response Peter merely said, “Everybody should come out and watch a great fight.”
It was a good fight, but not a great one. Sanuel Peter won a majority decision (116-111, 116-111, 112-115), which surprised a lot of those at ringside, including James Toney. The boxing press and TV announcers had the fight scored for Toney. The Square Ring had it 114-all with no even rounds.
The win by Peter sets up a fight with WBC champ Oleg Maskaev sometime next year. Tony as usual landed more punches while Peter’s “appeared” to have more sting.
“Toney never hurt me. I am solid like a rock. My game plan was to stick to the jab. He picked some off, but it was working all night long. The trash talking before didn’t affect me at all.”
Toney saw things differently: “Peter didn’t do $#!*. I’m not done with him. Hey, this is a joke. I didn’t lose the fight. I took everything away from him. I am not old. I am not fat and out of shape like Larry Holmes. This is not over. We are going to protest.”
Zip it James you’re toast.
It’s too bad that after a good heavyweight fight, what many will remember is the childish behavior of the two promoters. Somehow most all promoters have forgotten that no one in the history of the world has ever bought a ticket to watch a promoter do anything. Nothing like watching two promoters in a cat fight.
Toney’s promoter Dan Goossen stated, “I don’t like him (Duva) right now. I’m sure he doesn’t like me. I’m not going to do the right thing for him, I’m saying that publicly.”
Duva quipped back, “Thank you Dan. I never liked you.”
Even getting in the “Chatty Cathy” mode was good guy/trainer Freddie Roach, “Peter’s best punch is the overhand right to the back of the head. That’s what he’s knocked most of his opponents out with and I’m glad we have a strong referee (Raul Caiz Sr.) and a strong commission to not let that illegal blow go ... that’s all I’m worried about.”
Note to Freddie: the fight was in California which doesn’t have a boxing or athletic commission. Wonder what he thinks of the judges now? Me thinks, like Jeeves that he should do what he does best and leave the talking to others.
One of the raps against Joe Calzaghe has been that he fights way below his talent level with the goal of winning but not being tested. When he took on Jeff “Not Enough Left Hook” Lacy recently some of those critics had been quieted. Well they’re back, and in spades as it was announced that Calzaghe will fight on October 14 against Sakio Bika (20-1-2). Who is Sakio Bika? Don’t know, but I do know that one of his victories was against “Moechrody” (0-6-0) at the Central Coast Leagues Club in Gosford, NSW, Australia. Oh yes, another Aussie being led down the primrose path. With Clinton Woods winning at the weekend, that could also be an option for Calzaghe down the road.
Short shift was given to the fight between Clinton Woods (39-3-1) against Glenn Johnson (44-10-2) for the IBF lightweight title. Sorry about that. At the weigh-in prior to the contest, usually quiet, mild mannered Glenn Johnson actually said something.
Clinton Woods had been bragging that he would KO Johnson in 6. From the BBC, “I bet you $50,000 that you don’t beat me,” challenged Johnson. Woods became wooden at the ferociousness of Johnson’s challenge and refused the bet.
Dennis Hobson, Woods promoter, said, “I’ll put my money where my mouth is. If Johnson wants a side-bet I’m game. I bet $50,000 that Clinton will beat him Saturday night.”
Does anyone think that Hobson bet his own money? Silly boy. But will he collect?
Having not viewed the above fight The Square Ring must rely on press reports - a dodgy strategy at best. Clinton Woods finally got a win over Glenn Johnson so the third time was the charm. Interesting decision as the English judge (Mickey Vann) had it for Johnson as Yank Ric Bays and Puerto Rico’s judge had it for Woods. According to all reports it was a close and good fight but not without controversy. During the 11th round a member of Woods’ camp jumped up on the ring apron. Yorkshire’s Howard Foster, the referee, asked him to get down. The referee’s actions were in violation of the IBF rules.
“This is a direct violation of the IBF rules and regulations as it relates to members of any fighters corner stepping foot on the ring apron during the action. The fighter should have been immediately disqualified. We intend on filing a protest regarding the outcome and demand Glen Johnson be crowned the victor in this contest or they should order an immediate rematch,” said a member of the Johnson camp.
Double-checking the facts I went to the BBC website. They fail to mention this incident or the rule violation. What do you expect they still can’t bring themselves to call a terrorist, a terrorist.
Box fight tomorrow in Indonesia between Chris John (37-0-1), who many consider the best featherweight around, and Renan Acosta (18-4). Regular readers will know that Indonesia leads the world in ring deaths. Here is another candidate for a fatality. Acosta has lost 4 of his last 10 with one win coming against (0-12) Edinson Jimenerz. Should the WBA care? Should Indonesia care? Yes on both counts but they don’t. Sorry state of affairs.
Jeeves: “Your Lordship, before we have a cool refreshment might I fill you in on some local boxing results? Good, then WBA#2 flyweight Denkaosan Kaovichit, he’s 35-1, retained his PABA title when he won in 12 stanzas over Nino Suelo. Suelo is supposed to have a record of 10-12 but he’s really 5-12. That was at Thurakitbandit University in Bangkok. Then former WBF light-fly title holder Sairung Singwancha, he’s 42-8, knocked out Filipino Rex Paciones in two. And finally Bhatanyu Paradorn Gym surprisingly won a four round unanimous decision over a former WBC female straw challenger Nongmai Sor Siriporn. Drink My Lord?”
His Lordship: “Why thank you Jeeves.”
Jeeves: “My Lord I see that the Yanks lost to Greece at basketball. And you invented the game?”
His Lordship: “Yes Jeeves, like England, America is getting good at inventing games and then not being able to play them. Just keep the liquid flowing you English prat.”

And Wally makes it three

Catch of the day from Tropical Bert’s

The weather at sea has not been kind of late. Leaving port has always brought the knowledge that we are in for a rocky ride, and the day after has seen aching bones from being tossed around. The rule I have of never playing golf the day after fishing has been rigidly adhered to. Mind it has to be said that the fishing has been excellent on most days.

Wally with his Pompano.

So it was that rising early and looking out over the balcony, it was with great relief, after the heavy storms during the week, to see the ocean nice and flat, and a good day was promised. In fact it was so nice that ‘Her who shall be obeyed’ decided it was to be a day out for family and friends, and why not? The seasick pills were on board.
Arriving at Bang Sarae, we were met with a new kindred soul, when Wally Bishop was waiting to go out for the day. Wally is an ex Blackpool licensee and an experienced fisherman with his own small boat.
So, with family, friends and fishermen loaded off we went for a day on the waves, and to be honest they were quite mild with only the occasional rough swell. All making for a great day.
One of the things you need of course for a super day out fishing is fish - and we didn’t catch any. Well a few little ones, and the water was dead. Where in previous weeks the water had been racing, it was now possible to drop the lead straight down and the big lines did not even twitch, whilst we only picked up the odd small fish.
This went on for hour after hour, and we decided, or the captain did, to make one last stop. The family were asleep and we, the fishermen were not exactly looking forward to returning and telling the story of the ‘big ones’ that did not even bite.
Almost 4pm and the last stop, the lines went out and we all prayed. Bang! One line zoomed out and Wally brought in a very nice Pompano, and the family were now awake. It is always nice if you bring in at least one big fish. Now we could relax.
Sitting around the ‘big rods’, with some relief, suddenly one zoomed out and Wally jumped to it, bang off went another one and with me sitting watching them Chris took this rod, whilst the captain handed the third big rod to me. “I suppose there is a big fish on it”, I sarcastically asked him. “Yes”, he said and blow me down we had a three timer. Wally brought his Cobia in of about 5kg, then Chris brought in another Cobia of 10kg, whilst I fought mine to the boat.
On the side of the boat I had left my light rod with the line still in the water, while I jumped to fight an 8kg Cobia and land it. Suddenly, as my big fish was nearing the boat, the light rod bent nearly double and Chris jumped to it, and after probably the best fight of the day, landed a fine Cobia of 4kg.
By now, all were not only awake, but working out how many Cobia and Chips we could eat. Relief struck as once again the family, and Chris and friends, could eat.
Excitement over we headed for port, and as usual the captain hung up the catch so all could see what a fine fisherman he was. Wally declared it the best day, or more like 1 hour’s fishing he could remember. Chris, the single handicap fisherman took it all in his stride and didn’t even mention his 13kg Shovel Nose Ray caught last time out.
As they say where I come from, “There’s nothing so queer as fish” - or something similar.
If you fancy a day out on the sea, phone Tropical Bert’s on 038 361887.
T.T.F.N.

Alan returns to the winner’s enclosure

PSC golf from The Café Kronborg

Monday, August 28, Green Valley, Stableford
The Rayong Green Valley layout was host to a Stableford competition in two flights with the cut at handicap 18. The course on the day was in quite good shape but very busy, taking almost 5 hours to play.
The ever-present Ebrahim was the winner in the A Flight with 38 points, Thomas Johansson was in second on 35 points and Roger Strine was in third with 32 points on a count back from Walter Bachli.
Alan Ewing was the winner in the B Flight with 39 points, Dave Richardson a distant second with 31 points and Graham Mitchell third with 30 points.
Thursday, August 31, Pattana,
Stableford
At this time of the year this is a good course to play, it is so quiet that spotting the other players is worth two points and the green fee is reasonable for such a fine up market venue. Mind, the restaurant is a rather different matter.
At present the B nine is undergoing major work as the greens are having the grass replaced and they are being ‘flattened’ a little. There are some hole locations that just could not be played.
So on this day we played the A & C layouts, a fine open 18 holes that required good Tee shots. This was easier said than done as the wind was high and blew the ball all over the place. I like this course but I know there are a lot of players to whom it is not on their favourites list.
And so to the results, and the winner was Derek Brook with a fine 37 points, ahead of a count back on 36 points, won by Walter Bachli in second with Alan Ewing in third. Fourth spot went to Ted Morris with 34 points ahead of Ebrahim on count back.
T.T.F.N.