Dear
Hillary,
I have had a jokey type relationship with my hairdresser for
about six months. Last week she made it clear (I thought) that she would be
interested in a little after hours fun, and we ended up with some slap and
tickle in the back of the salon, nothing too deep, just what you’d call petting.
I dropped by today with the idea of floating the idea of her closing the shop
for an hour or two one afternoon, but she was not even in for a bit of a cuddle,
so I did not pursue the idea. What gives with these Thai women, Hillary? I’ve
had this before with lots of sexy suggestions, but then backing out at the last
minute. Is this the way their culture demands or what? And should I keep trying
with this dame?
Johnson
Dear Johnson,
My Petal, you have mistaken harmless fun with the real
thing. Your hairdresser is just trying to keep you as a customer. A little snog
every so often does not mean that she is ready for a roll between the covers at
the local Lonely Hearts Hotel, room by the hour. Don’t get so serious with these
ladies, they are just having some fun with you, but that’s all. If you are only
looking for short term rumpy pumpy company then a bar beer, rather than a
barber, is where you go. Understand now?
Dear Hillary,
My Thai girlfriend has come to live with me, and that’s
great, but for one thing - she eats the worst smelling food you could ever
imagine. Dead socks would be the closest I could come to describing it. When I
walk in the door of my condo, I can tell right away whether she has been eating
the stuff during the day. I thought all Thai food was supposed to be the
tastiest in the world. Tastiest? You wouldn’t go within a couple of yards of
this stuff. What is it, Hillary?
Jim
Dear Jim,
I will bet that your girlfriend comes from Isaan, and the
dead socks is a delicacy called Pla Ra, which you can only really get in the
Isaan region. Does she have Isaan friends which have come down from the village?
They usually bring large bottles of this fermenting fish mixture and share it
around amongst their friends. It must be eaten on the tablecloth on the floor to
get the really authentic taste of Isaan. You won’t break her of this habit, my
Petal. You may have to insist that the Pla Ra is kept in a sealed container on
the balcony, and eaten there too! Best of luck.
Dear Hillary,
I bought a house for my Thai lady and I, at her suggestion,
because she said a condominium apartment would be too small for us (there’s only
two of us mind). Well, to buy the house it had to be in her name, but I was OK
with that, as we’d been together for almost a year. Now that we’ve got the
place, she has totally changed. It’s not a house for she and I, but now a house
with all her relatives there on rotation. They all seem to get two week holidays
all year round as there’s always somebody in the second and third bedrooms. I am
not getting any fun out of this, and there’s no way I could call this
arrangement “my” home. Any suggestions?
Thomas
Dear Thomas,
Talk about rushing in where angels fear to tread! However,
she is correct that a condominium would be too small, because she was aware she
had to fit the relatives in as well. You knew this lady “for almost a year” and
you decided that was long enough to invest your money in a house in someone
else’s name. Is that what you would call “due diligence”? That’s really not good
business practice, Petal. You can try having it out with your lady friend, but
reading between the lines, I don’t think you’ll get far. You are between a rock
and a hard place, and you have only got two choices - like it or lump it, I’m
afraid.
Dear Hillary,
I see that there has been a crackdown recently about copy
goods - shirts, CD’s and watches and the like. Pictures of them being burnt in
the street and all. Why is this? Everyone knows that you go to Asia to buy real
bargains. I always bring back a sack of watches and all the latest movies on DVD
and some footy shirts for the blokes. What’s wrong with this? If I can’t get the
stuff in Thailand any more, do you know where I can get them? I like Thailand,
but I have to look at what I can take back to sell, to pay for the trip.
Copy Cat
Dear Copy Cat,
Sorry about your holiday expenses business, but most
countries are now closing those loopholes. Mr. Prado and Columbia Pictures have
more clout than the consumers. However, all things are possible in Thailand - go
to the local markets and try there!