Heart to Heart: Fashionista Hillary


Fashionista Hillary
Dear Hillary,
You must know much about ladies fashion. My question is: “Is there an underground fashion network or something?” A couple of years ago, every woman was wearing leopard shorts. Now every woman is in black tights (or leggings I believe) no matter what she looks like. So tight you can count the freckles on her bum. What’s next?

Dear Greg,
What an observant little fellow you are. Freckles yet! Definitely not PC; however, there were a couple of fashion trends you appear to have missed, my Petal. The tops with cut outs on the shoulders and then the lace over-wear (as opposed to lace underwear). Sorry to disappoint you, but there is no fashion mafia out there directing the market. As soon as one style becomes fashionable, the clothes wholesalers saturate the market with the current (at the time) style, so all the clothes shops all have the same fashions to sell. And before you ask, I have been wearing the same black long dress for some years. Not the same one, but same style.

Pongo Pete
Dear Hillary,
One of the guys in my office has a problem with body odor. He does not seem to realize this, but it is now getting to the stage that nobody wants to sit downwind from him. He is a nice enough chap and gets on with us all (9 men and 2 women) in our office. Have you any suggestions Hillary that can help us through this difficult problem. The man in question owns the company, so there is another problem, as you can imagine.

Dear Nosey,
Tread very softly my Petal. This is not the first time I have come across this kind of problem and it is a very difficult situation. Whichever course of action you take, you could end up in a confrontation situation very easily. Begin by getting everyone in the office to have a small incense burner going on their desk. When he is the only person without one, he will ask you why, which is the time when you have to wriggle around a little and tell him that someone in the office has bad body odor, but nobody is sure who it is, so you are masking the smell. Then retire stage left gracefully. Hope you still have a job on Monday.

The tale of the pregnant maid
Dear Hillary,
My maid has told me today that she is pregnant and she will be going back to her village up country in a few months. This news has just shattered me. I have spent the past six months training her and now, just when she has become very good she will be leaving me in the lurch. What can I do about this? How do I find a replacement? I went through three maids before I got this one. Why do these girls take a job if they know they are wishing to start a family? What should I do Hillary? Is this normal for Thai maids?

Dear June,
I think you could keep me going for a week, just on your own, Petal, with all your questions, but let’s take this situation and look at calmly. So your maid has become pregnant. This does happen as you would know. This may or may not have been planned either, but whatever, you should be supportive of this girl at this time, not saying “Why?” If you help this girl now, then she will help you tomorrow. It’s always a two way street, June. If you are the sort of person your maid would recommend as an employer, she will even find her own replacement and help train her too. Get excited about this pregnancy and stop thinking only about yourself. You are going to be a “grandmother” soon! Lighten up and relax and help your maid enjoy this pregnancy!

Wines after dinner
Dear Hillary,
What do you do about your husband drinking too much? He has a drink after work every day, wine with dinner and then more drinks after dinner at home, or goes down the pub with his mates. This is surely too much? He is not violent or anything, but I just worry that he can’t be doing himself much good with all this drinking. Please don’t suggest I go drinking with him as I do not drink.

Dear Velma,
You’ve got it all wrong, my petal! Asking about what I will do with a husband who drinks. Hillary doesn’t have a husband, so I don’t do anything! I sent the last one packing years ago – but it wasn’t for drinking after dinner either. If you’re worried about hubby’s health, then get him to go for a check-up and go with him yourself. If you’re just worried about what he’s doing while out drinking with his mates, then go with him. Nobody said you have to drink alcohol. All of the pubs that I have a quiet one in also sell orange juice and soft drinks. Honestly, I think you are the one with the problem, my Petal. Time to lighten up and look at your own attitudes, darling.