Heart to Heart: Does my face look red in this?


Does my face look red in this?
Dear Hillary,
My red-faced Thai GF worries me. Every time she even has a sniff of some spirits she starts to go red in the face. This seems to happen any night and she doesn’t need to be drunk for it to happen. A few mates says their GFs are the same. Is it something in the beer?

Dear Gez,
You’ve been around long enough, my Petal, to know that the women of SE Asia are different from the women SE Swansea. Not only are the local ladies petite and good company, but unfortunately they are missing an enzyme in the liver or somewhere which breaks down the alcohol and starts the redness. That’s how I’ve been led to believe, but if you want to try the theory, we can start with a bottle of Veuve Clicquot champagne which you will supply (being the gentleman that you are) and we will drink it at your favorite watering hole. Just let me know and I will check my appointment diary.

Not going to ugly bars any more
Recently you got a letter from a guy whose GF refuses to go to bars any more because she got cuddled by one of the bar girls. I think you suggested he just play along with it and not push the case. Quite frankly, Petal, he is better off forgetting this woman and go out in the open market again. Once a Thai woman has made up her mind you won’t change it and she will expect you to change. Agree with me Hillary?

Dear Max,
You are right when you say Thai women can be very stubborn when pushed. With the original query, there’s not much he can do, other than go to the bars and clubs on his own and I’m sure a replacement for the current GF will be found.

How could you possibly live in Pattaya?
Dear Hillary,
The other day I met the parents of a friend in Pattaya who came to visit their son. While talking to them, they asked me how it came to be that I got “stuck” in Pattaya. My explanation, that my husband and I both decided to work here, was taken with an astounded raising of the eyebrows. The then woman asked me if we had actually ‘learned’ our business, or if it was only by luck that we got our present positions, for she couldn’t imagine how people ‘who are clever’ could stay here.

I was very upset, though I didn’t show it to her. What do people like them think? Do they really believe only the dregs of society are living in Pattaya? They have probably never heard of the big expat community in and around Pattaya, who are definitely all very honorable and intelligent people. I am sure I will meet them again, how should I react if they start talking to me the same way?

Dear Upset,
Ignorance is one of the worse things in life and it is very hard to fight against it. People sometimes have preconceived notions about things they no little or nothing about, yet make up their minds that it is true. It takes a lot of patience to change that. Those kinds of people are usually quite stuck up and don’t even bother to think clearly. Should they ever approach you with something naive again, ask them why they have such a bad opinion about their own son, since he is living in Pattaya and therefore part of the society here. If explanations don’t help, ignore them – it’s the best way to answer ignorance.

A different mo
Dear Hillary,
One of your writers was wondering if his wife (or GF, I can’t remember if he said) was cheating on him. Thai women have cheating down pat, and you can tell the ones who are going up country and have up country friends staying down here, that they are all covering for each other. The ones from the bars slip into it more easily, but there (sic) sisters then follow. If it’s OK for Noi then it’s OK for Nam. They come from completely different cultures, completely different morals and different ideas on what’s right or wrong. The crime here is in being found out, not in the cheating. All the overseas men should understand this before hooking up with a Thai woman. Do you agree with me and how I see it?

Dear George,
I have received many letters (shows how old fashioned I am) on this subject over the years. In most cultures I have experienced it is the same. If you don’t get found out then nobody has to tell lies or cover for another person, so in that way the cultures are the same. It just seems that Thai ladies are better at it than the western ones. There are books about this Thai woman and foreign man, but there are also books about the western dalliances. The morality is much the same. However, I believe that you need concrete evidence before accusing anyone of anything, not by race. Not all Thai women cheat and not all western women.