Heart to Heart: Going for the gigglier


Going for the gigglier
Dear Hillary,
I work in an office as a teacher but I am going nuts about one of the women in the office who is screaming and yelling and giggling all day, every day. There’s just one of me and seven of the Thai women. On their own they are nice people, but all in one room, it is bedlam, and it is this one girl that starts it all off, and keeps it going. I have thought about having a word with her, but now I’ve found out that she is the owner’s daughter. So where do I go from here, Hillary? Any sensible suggestions?

Dear Jerry,
Your problem is very easy to fix. Where do you go? Straight down the road to the employment agency. You cannot change a group of Thai women from chatting and laughing together. That is how we relate to each other, Petal. And when one of them is the bossdaughter, how far do you think you will go? Push too much and you are the one who will be pushed out the door. No, maintain your dignity, and look for alternative employment, and dont forget that you will need a new work permit when you do change jobs.

Clubbed to death
Dear Hillary,
Have you been clubbing recently? Some of the new clubs are spectacular and the lighting/sound systems are terrific. The girls that go clubbing also look terrific, but they don’t want to mix with us. A couple of the guys and myself have been to clubs in Bangkok and Pattaya, but come away empty-handed every time. The Thai women seem more interested in each other than they are with getting to know foreigners. Is this the usual scene?
Jack and the lads

Dear Jack and the lads,
You didnt do your homework first, did you now. While the clubbing scene is all laser lights and thumping beat music and attracts girls like bears to honey, clubbing is expensive. The girls that go clubbing are well off, and are not there to be picked up, they are there to be seen. One night stands are well catered for at the other end of the market, which is where you should be looking, Petal.

“I see no ships,” (Admiral Nelson)
Dear Hillary,
I need your advice urgently, Hillary my Petal! I know I should have known better, after all I am not new to this country, but there I was at my usual bar and met this vision of loveliness. She spoke very little English but seems like a very genuine person and we got along just fine. She comes from Udon Thani, but that’s about all I managed to find out about her after about four hours and several “lady drinks”. The biggest problem was only that she doesn’t speak much English, but we got by OK. By the end of the night I was pretty drunk and I ended up lending her 5000 baht, which she was going to return three days later. It’s now a week later and I haven’t heard from her. What should I do? Should I go back to the bar and ask for my money? Should I keep going, or should I give up now before I get in too deep?

Dear Nelson,
Youve got the telescope to the blind eye. Havent you! After four hours of lady drinks you give this vision of loveliness5,000 baht. How were you communicating with your vision? It wasnt English, according to you, so I presume it must have been in Braille. That is 5,000 baht you will never see again. But look at it this way there is a very grateful buffalo up there in Udon Thani thinking about you. And by the way, I am not your Petal, Petal!