Pattaya Prowl: Two faced!


Pattaya is now turning into what some call a Janus resort. You see what you want to see. If nightclubs, gin palaces and massage parlors are your thing, they are here in plenty. But moving along rapidly in parallel is the opening of more five star condominiums and hotels, family entertainment venues and increasing numbers of events under the Mice (meetings, incentives, conferences, exhibitions) program. Napoleon was once asked in exile what the battle of Waterloo had been like. “Depends where you were standing,” he replied.

Predictions that the Covid pandemonium would see the end of Sin City have proved wide of the mark. On the other hand, nobody disputes that the city over the last 20 years has become a lot tamer even if still sensual by world standards. Pattaya sits in the Eastern Economic Corridor whose investors have already built motorways, ports and infrastructure with foreign capital being dominant. These guys are not investing to update entertainment venues, but to see eastern Thailand become a hi-tech import and export zone for the whole of Asean and beyond.

֍ Thai Garden Resort celebrates Oktoberfest in style on Saturday November 5. Roasted pig, finest BBQ treats and one mug of beer for 1,400 baht. Phone 038 370 614.

֍ The renamed Aquaverse water and theme park has now opened in Bang Saray. Aimed at kids, the rides and attractions are based on popular movies and TV shows. If you liked Disneyworld, you’ll love it.

֍ The popular Cove pub on Thappraya Road is now offering Dark Lager, a bitter-sweet concoction with a suggestion of chocolate. A delight to taste.

֍ Mobile-unit pizza maker Joe Pizzaking has died. Well known to generations of Pattaya visitors, he became a Jomtien institution with his quick wit and sense of humor. RIP.

֍ The resort has at least five expat food shops, mostly reflecting British tastes and desires. The latest addition is M and A Foodshop, but its thrust is apparently German and European imported products. It’s on Pattaya Country Club Road.

֍ There was a time when people wrote diaries and were mad when people read them. Now they write about themselves on the internet and are mad when people don’t.

֍ A reader asks why he just can’t go to the immigration bureau and ask them to cancel his O/A retirement visa because he wants a different type. But immigration officers don’t cancel visas to make way for a new one you prefer. The guy needs to leave the country without a re-entry permit and start afresh .

֍ Pattaya now has a scattering of what can only be described as marijuana cafes, near-Amsterdam style. One of them is about to serve your drinks by a robot server without a human hand in charge. The term you need to know is “barista”.

֍ The Time Bar in Soi LK Metro has an early bird breakfast for 99 baht. Good value but only one sausage.

֍ Another early starter is Robin Hood at The Avenue on Second Road. According to the sign, they serve from 7 am.

֍ The best way to tell the difference between Thais and farang: those wearing a mask are Thais.

֍ We hear The Dollhouse on the Darkside will be offering you a beer bucket. That’s 5 beers in a bucket for 500 baht, instead of individually priced at 180 baht.

֍ Online dating is now catching on bigtime. Originally, it was promoted for use by non-hookers. But prostitutes have now taken over some sites with names such as “I’m 3,000 for all night” or “Call me S and M”.

֍ What is a blinner? It’s a combination of breakfast, lunch and dinner. Now you know.

֍ Jomtien Complex, a gay area, is now offering more cabaret shows as business is getting better all the time. So far we’ve only visited The Venue, the oldest by far. Very professional.

֍ Villa Market has the biggest selection of wines. Many are elegant and pricey, but there are some bargains if you look carefully.

֍ How many psychics have won the lottery? Just wondering.

֍ Is marriage breakdown the same as marriage breakup?

֍ Bruno’s restaurant in Jomtien which became a Chinese restaurant, then closed altogether for Covid, is scheduled to reopen anytime soon as a gourmet eatery.

֍ Did you know that the three best known words in the English language are God, Cola and Titanic? And the most famous arch in the world is McDonalds.

Happy Hunting!