The answer for (in)fidelity


Dear Hillary,

Noting some of your writers are worried about their partners straying, I have the answer for them. If you really find the love of your life, (or lust of it), and want to insure she will NEVER stray, do the usual. Supply adequate funds for her personal use but … to insure “till death do us part”, contact a lawyer with her present, draw up a overly generous will, leaving her so much her breasts will expand just hearing the amount – with the stipulation she must be in habitation/co habitation with you for the 10 years prior to your passing. She will, overnight shed all bad habits, manually fan your sweaty brow and perform nothing but pleasurable acts upon your person.



Dear Don,

You are a prolific correspondent, aren’t you, my Petal. And you have the answer for everything it would seem. Your proposal ‘could’ work, but I doubt that this would continue to work after the first 24 hours. We Thai ladies are not known for looking very far ahead. There is also the problem that she might tell her friends of the future windfall and they might suggest helping you come to your passing a little earlier than you planned. It’s been done before! For that reason, I cannot swing my wholehearted support behind your scheme. Sorry.