Lathered and then leathered?

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Dear Hillary,

I am a 71-year-old British expat who has recently been visiting Thailand.  I enjoy the life here so much that I am currently having a house built in Pattaya.  I don’t have to worry about pensions losing their value, as I have a private pension, which easily covers my simple needs.  I have taken up with a 22-year-old bargirl.  I now enjoy wonderful soapy massages, but I think she is into leather and bondage because when she saw my wallet she wanted to get tied to it.  I am wondering what do you think are the chances of a long term relationship?

Mark

Dear Mark,

Did you know that you are a little self-centered, my Petal?  Every sentence starts with “I” and everything else is secondary.  You do sound like quite a catch for you little friend.  71 years old, plenty of money and only too ready to flash it around.  How long will this sudsy relationship last?  Depends on how long you keep your wallet filled, Mark.  You could also try keeping your money in a sock, rather than a leather wallet if you think leather’s the attraction.