“Honest” companion required

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Dear Hillary,

I’ve done it again, falling in love with a Thai woman who has happily ripped me off, while smiling.  No wonder they call this place the land of smiles.  With what they’ve got out of me, half of Isaan should be smiling, or at least financially better off.  I thought I had met Miss Right.  She always seemed so pleased to see me, but I think it was my bank account she was smiling at.  I know I did not know her very long, but I honestly thought it would be better for us to be together while we got to know each other better, and keep her away from the bars.  That was a dumb idea, as all it did was get her to know my financial state better, which is now a lot worse when she left taking as much as she could carry, and then some, what with motorcycle and house in her name.  This is really just a warning for other poor saps, as I know you can’t get the money and stuff back for me.  But how do you get some honest company round here?

Rip Toff

Dear Rip Toff,

I am sorry to hear of all this heartbreak, and a broken piggy bank too.  Some people are slow learners, my Petal.  There is nothing wrong with that, but you should know yourself better by this stage in your life.  I am sorry that your Miss Right turned into Miss Left Nothing, and I appreciate your trying to warn others to be more careful, but you are the person you should be warning, before all others.  And to meet “honest company”?  The same places you do in your country, and that’s not the bars either.