Heart to Heart – November 1, 2019 – November 14, 2019


Am I getting a message?

Dear Hillary,

My GF went up country to do a course in hair dressing in the village. For the first week we exchanged messages every day. The second week she replied to half of mine. Now the third week and I hear nothing personal, but loads of photos of her and her class mates in Line. Is this usual, Hillary? Or what should I make of it?


Dear Reid,

Now then my Petal, time for you to look at the realities of the situation. The fire went out of the relationship at the end of the first week of separation. You have been living in hope, but that emotion is not being returned, is it? If she has the time to post photos, there was time to drop you a note as well. Time to move on, Reid. There’s plenty of fish in the ocean, as they say. Forget about your snapper and get a “Dolly” fish instead.


Sparkling, sensational, super and sexy

Dear Hillary,

Help me! I’m in trouble again. Met this crazy bird. Sparkling, sensational, super and sexy, who had me eating out of her hand within 10 minutes. Had to miss the next two nights as I was sent to Chiang Mai for work, but when I came back from up north, she didn’t want to know me. Didn’t even want a lady drink, nothing. It was as if I never existed and the sexy time we had before never happened. What am I supposed to do now?


Dear Jimmy,

What do you want for your 15th birthday, Petal? You have a long way to go yet in the battleground called “women”. You fell for a professional lady of the night, who was doing her job, and very well too, it would seem. But just by bobbing up again like a rabbit from a gopher hole, all bright eyed and bushy tailed, doesn’t change the way she acts. Go to a better bar, and grow up. Or rather, grow up first and then go to a bar. And, by the way, I think you are telling porky pies.


Opportunity Knocks

Dear Hillary,

Nok, the cashier at my local has told me she wants to get out of the bar trade. Even though she’s cashier, she has managed to get someone to cover for her while we’ve been out together. She tells me that I have to buy her out of the bar, and that is going to cost me 30,000 baht, which I think is a lot, but she’s a really nice girl, woman actually. Is the price for buying her out correct, but Nok says she will look after me after that. Is this a risky thing, Hillary?


Dear Jimbo,

Have you ever heard of the saying “Opportunity Knocks”? Well in your case it is more like “Opportunity Noks”. Not for you – for her. How old are you, my pink Petal? The cashier story is used all the time, to make you think they are “good” girls and not bar girls. The figure of 30,000 baht is well inflated too. Jimbo you are being ripped off. What you do now is run, and never go anywhere near that bar again!


Jack Sparrow, swashbuckling hero, where are you?

Dear Hillary,

I’m coming your way in December. What are the safe bars to frequent in Pattaya? I don’t want to be ripped off. I’m told you’ve got to be careful in any go-go bar, but what about the bars out in the suburbs? What happens if you’re still there after official closing time? I’ve got a few more questions, but they can wait till closer to my trip. My lodgings are out in the western country, and nothing like Thailand (I was over once before a couple of years ago).


Dear Capt. Jack,

You are nothing like Capt. Jack Sparrow. There is no way I can give you a six month in advance bar forecast. Bars change weekly, some daily. Just use common savvy, Petal. If a bar is empty, then you can say that it isn’t the most popular one, can’t you? If it is thumping and full of people, then it is popular. There’s many more bars other than a-go-go, with sports bars, music bars, family hangouts and more. Just tread gently, go slowly and you’ll be OK. If you’re still there after closing time, don’t worry, the staff will put you right.


When is enough really enough?

Dear Hillary,

My live-in GF has started going out with “the girls” and was getting back at 2 a.m., then 3 a.m. and even later with the best being 11 a.m. the next morning. I am supposed to believe that they go to restaurants and karaoke bars and drink and have a few laughs. Is this usual? I am getting tired of this.


Dear Jimmy,

A “few laughs”? The laughs are on you, James. You are being used by your GF. There’s more than just drinks there. Show her the door as soon as possible. It will cost you some money as a good bye gift, but it is better than living with someone who is not thinking about you at all.