Flirting as an Olympic sport

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Dear Hillary,

I love reading your column, but I don’t come with promises of champagne or chocolates and I am sorry for that.  I do have a question for you though.  Do all girls in Pattaya flirt with all tourists or am I just a walking sign board that says “Here I am come take advantage of me”?  Well I don’t really know who is taking advantage of who but at times I feel that there really is a spark, a kind of connection.  Am I dreaming this or is this not possible?

The Day Dreamer

Dear Day Dreamer,

I do thank you for your kind words, though wrapped around a bottle of bubbly makes them even better.  Try a little harder next time.  Now to your specific questions – do all girls in Pattaya flirt?  No, all girls do not.  A percentage do, and that percentage increases exponentially as you approach the bar areas, until by the time that you have passed through the “Welcome!  Sit down please,” threshold, the percentage is nigh on 100 percent.  Is there a spark, a kind of connection?  Of course there is!  That connection is called “money”.  As the T shirt says, No money, No Honey!  Wake up and stop day dreaming.