Bring on the barkers

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Dear Hillary,

Why is it that I seem to attract all the barkers any time I’m at a party? My mates all seem to bag the good looking ones, leaving the dogs for me. I’m an OK sort of guy, not loaded, but enough. Wash daily and shave. What is it?

Lee

 

Dear Lee,

You haven’t given me much to go on, Petal. You don’t mention the twice a day tooth clean, perhaps that’s it? Bad Breath? How’s the dress sense? Go to parties decently dressed? Clean clothes? Shoes? Or is it thongs? It’s just too difficult for me to comment, Lee. Why don’t you ask your friends who have won the pretty ladies? And remember, just because a girl is a looker, doesn’t mean she’s a nice person. And some plain Jane’s can be wonderful company.