Brain surgeon wanted


Dear Hillary,

As far as I can see, most of the writers to your column are definitely in need of help, but not from you Hillary, but from a brain surgeon.  Mainly to put one in their thick heads.  What’s with these guys?  They meet a woman here and next thing they’re buying houses and motorbikes, and then after that they lose the lot and come crying to you.  Don’t they read anything?  It’s not even the fine print.  Everybody knows that foreigners can’t own houses over here, and here they go buying a house for someone they met weeks ago.  Would they do that in their own towns with a girl they just met in a ‘bar’, without putting too fine a point on it?  Do you know why this happens, Hillary?  Is it the beer?  Or is there some secret Thai herb the girls put in the man’s tea cup?


Dear Ricky,

You are a fortunate fellow, being able to think this conundrum through.  Taking last first, there is no Thai herb that I know of that can stop a foreigner’s brain from working.  It has been said that many of these chaps check in their brains at the left luggage department at Suvarnabhumi airport, after getting a visitor’s visa stamp in their passport.  I have to agree with you, Petal, it does look as if a brain transplant might be needed, but I like to think that, in my own little way, I might have stopped some of the crazy behavior and saved some farang’s bank account.  Now, if I could only find a way for them to channel some of their wealth in this direction… any ideas Ricky?