Advice for octogenarians


Dear Hillary,

Hope you made it into 2018 safely. I am told that old people have to be very careful and not fall as they can break their hips. My Mum had one when she was 60 and it took her a long time to get over it. My problem is these Thai women that seem to grow up wanting the cake as well as eating it. My woman has been with me for four years and we were getting along fine, I was even thinking of marriage. May as well as I was already looking after the kid (hers, not mine). She started to get a bit shifty, coming home late, friend invited her to a party, fell asleep in the massage parlor, all these kind of excuses. Eventually comes out she’s got some bloke on the side, called a Gik. But it was OK as all her friends had one. I wasn’t going to put up with that nonsense so she got her marching orders. Felt sorry for the kid, but maybe she’ll think a bit first before following the friends. Am I being too hard, Hillary.


Dear Robbie,

No, I don’t think you’re being too hard. Trust is necessary in any partnership, and yours ran out of it. However, you have to be a bit more careful in future. One of my regulars read your letter, and suggested that in Thailand, love is spelled ‘M O N E Y’. You can be the ugliest stinking fat slob in town and there’s a girl on ‘Line’, ‘Craigslust’ or the ubiquitous jungle honeys at Thai Friendly etc., who just loves… your money. It ain’t luck chum … it’s all and only about the baht. Walk into any bar with a wad wrapped around your organ and don’t be shocked how the Nam Pheung attracts the loving butterfly. Thank you Jay West for the advice.