A widower’s first steps towards a life style of enjoyment


Dear Hillary,

I am in my 70’s and have been a widower for five years.  I think it is time I moved on and began to enjoy myself again, but here’s the problem – who with?  In the UK where I have been all my life, any “available” woman is a widow, with tons of baggage and they are not looking to be part of a relationship, they just want a man to take care of them.  I’m probably looking at the same thing from the other side of the coin, I suppose.  I have a friend who emigrated to Thailand and now has a young Thai wife who does look after him, and he says I should come over there and forget the UK.  I got given your address by him and he suggested I talk to you as well.


Dear Fred,

You sound like a lovely genuine man, so I hope I can give you the right answers here.  Please do come over, but just come for a two week holiday.  So much happens in this country, that you could easily fall into some of the traps round here for single pensioners (I presume you are a pensioner, Petal).  You will find that your friend will most likely take you to one of the bars, where a beautiful young thing will leap on your lap and ask for a “lady drink” and by the evening will be stuck to you like glue.  That does not mean she thinks you are UK’s answer to Brad Pitt, but that she has the feeling that your wallet needs emptying, and she is the one who can help you with that problem!  Sure!  Enjoy her company, but remember it is just play-acting, that is her “job” to keep old men happy, so keep your wits about you!  After three months, come back and get to know the culture a little better, and get to know some of the more senior expats who can also give you advice.  Unfortunately it is easy to lose money here, if you don’t know your way around!  Go slowly and carefully, Fred and contact me again when you come over.  Best of luck.