by Dr. Iain Corness
Pattaya
does manage to turn up some wonderful characters, and John Arno is one of
those. He is a man who has been arrested so many times by her Majesty’s
British Police Force that he cannot count them all, but this year was
invited to Buckingham Palace as her guest. John also plays a mean
harmonica, guitar, ukulele, tambourine, cymbals, as well as all the bells
and whistles. John Arno is a busker – a street entertainer!
John believes that his chosen profession is actually an
extension of his French origins, being descended from the Huguenot
refugees which came to the East End of London in the 1700’s. The family
name was then “Arnau” but eventually contracted to “Arno”. The
Huguenots were wonderfully independent folk, with one ancestor being
recorded as an “ostrich feather curler” and John is certainly
independent!
His musical ability came from his father, who in
addition to being a French polisher, played pianos in pubs to support the
family. John’s first musical recollections being standing around Dad’s
piano while everyone sang “Knees Up Mother Brown!” John’s scholastic
achievements were more artistic than academic, and he left school at 15
years of age, doing a succession of forgettable jobs until he joined the
Merchant Navy as a deckhand at 17.
It was in the Merchant Navy that his musical side
really came forward. He first started entertaining the other deckhands
with his harmonica and then added the guitar. The officers encouraged this
behaviour, even though his immediate bosses, the Bo’suns were not so
enamoured. I also got the more than sneaking opinion that young John was a
bit of a larrikin, once again his Huguenot disregard for authority coming
to the fore, such as the time he ‘commandeered’ a beached boat to get
back to his ship after the last crew boat had departed. “There were so
many adventures,” said John, with a grin.
However,
after 15 years at sea he decided to return to land. “It eventually wears
a bit thin. After a while it’s just a job, seven days a week and long
hours.”
Back on dry land he decided that he would follow his
musical star and applied to be an entertainer with Pontin’s Holiday
Camps. When asked to give an example of his work, he performed a song he
had written about a shipmate called “The Ballad of Shaky Jake” and was
given the contract, and the ‘stage’ name of Shaky Jake’s One Man
Band!
The progression to a one man band seemed to be a
natural consequence. He found he could play any musical instrument, even
though he never had any training or tuition. In fact, today he still
cannot read music. “All those quavers and stuff – dead boring,” said
John. But he could play several instruments at the same time and even made
his own oil drum ukulele. “It’s easy,” said John. “I’ve got the
harness on my chest with the harmonica, hold the guitar, the drum’s on
me back with the tambourine, the cymbals are between me knees, and then
there’s the hooters, bells and whistles.”
So after his stint at Pontins, he hit the streets,
especially around the famous Tower of London. And to his first run-in with
the constabulary. And the scourge of the street entertainer, the
Obstruction Laws. It was through the (mis)use of these laws that the
police force would move the buskers on. Any resistance and they were
“nicked”.
In turn, this strengthened the resolve of the buskers,
with many sharing their favourite spot or “pitch”. “There were lots
of interesting characters,” said John. “One friend would play till pub
opening time at 11, after which I would take over the pitch.” Despite
the fact that it sounded a very precarious way to make a living to me,
John denied that it was. In fact he did very well out of it, making enough
to buy his own house in the UK and live quite nicely, thank you! “It was
bloody good money,” said John, “because the police cracked down so
much, the number of buskers went down.”
As he progressed through the ranks of the buskers, he
even founded the Street Entertainers Association and was picked to
represent the buskers of Britain during ‘British Week’ in Bahrain, Abu
Dhabi, Dubai and Qatar. He even had a go at running for parliament under
the platform of the Reform the Obstruction Laws Party, but was told by the
chief constable that his many arrests for “obstruction” would bar him
from office, even if he did gain the majority vote.
He was not alone with his one man band, however. He had
a partner. A dog, aptly named ‘Busker’, who also had an amazing range
of musical tricks, including singing on demand. He and John appeared on a
TV talent show and received 45 points out of a possible 50. “The
producers told me that I got 20 points and the dog got 25,” said John,
laughing.
Then came the invitation to attend Buckingham Palace
for a musical reception. John was to represent the buskers of Britain, and
after all his arrests, John thought that this was probably the most
unlikely event in his life. However, he went, knocked at the Tradesman’s
entrance and was told he had to go round to the front, where he joined
British musical super-stars such as Cilla Black, Petula Clark, Eric
Clapton, Shirley Bassey, the remaining members of Queen and Status Quo.
Shaky Jake’s One Man Band at the Palace! Who would have imagined it?
Certainly not John Arno!
Eventually John began to feel that the rigours of
standing on one leg, clacking away with the cymbals between his knees,
playing tunes, avoiding the law and the vagaries of street entertaining
were becoming too much and he came to Pattaya for a holiday three years
ago. That was the turning point, and he is now retired and resident here.
He remains active, though. He plays the share market!