Dear Hillary,
You might think this is a stupid complaint, but it is driving me mad. My girlfriend and I have been together for 10 years, she is totally trustworthy, she runs the finances and we have no money problems. Like everyone these days we use ATM cards to get the money out of the bank (is there anyone who uses passbooks any longer?) but this is where the problem is. At least twice a year I get a frantic call to say she is somewhere and can’t pay the bill because she can’t find her ATM card. OK, so it’s only twice a year, but it means I have to leave the office and meet her at the bank to apply for another new card, and that takes more than a couple of minutes, and my passport and photocopies and all the usual razzamatazz. I don’t know if she leaves the card in the ATM machine or drops it somewhere, but we’ve never had one returned. I have told her to be careful with it, but the message hasn’t got through. What can I do? Any suggestions?
ATM Allan

Dear ATM Allan,
I can understand the frustration, my Petal, but I haven’t got much experience with ATMs I’m afraid. None of the banks seem to have an ATM that gives out anything less than 20 baht, so the card isn’t much use to me! You say that you have asked her to be more careful in the past but that hasn’t worked, so telling her again is not going to do much good, other than make her angry and you even more frustrated. What about asking for two ATM cards, one you carry and one that she carries? That way she will always have access to the account, as long as you don’t lose yours! Perhaps one of the more switched on banks could install a GPS sender so that cards can always be located? I think that’s a brilliant idea of mine!

Dear Hillary,
My wife never hears the phone when I ring her up. It is always left in the car, or at the bottom of her handbag and she doesn’t hear it. Have you any suggestions?
Mark

Dear Mark,
Buy her one of those lanyards that goes around her neck and the phone hangs from that. I take it you have checked to make sure the ring tone is turned up as well. Of course, she might be ignoring you, and in that case, nothing will work!
Dear Hillary,
My Thai GF has got in with a crowd of women who sleep all day and party all night. And when I say all night, I mean all night, getting in at 5 in the morning sometimes. Since I work all day, I can’t even chat to her on the phone and she is pretty strange at night if I ring to ask her when she is coming home. Should I be worried? Will this pass or what?
Greg

Dear Greg,
Yes you should be worried if this is a regular occurrence. Most of these all-night people are taking ya-ba or the like to stay awake. You will have to find a time and discuss this with her. However, if she prefers her friend’s company and not yours, it is time to move on, my Petal. Or shift her on - you are being used here.

Dear Hillary,
I know that plenty of older men get taken in by these young Thai girls, but they can’t all be acting? Can they? I have met a really nice young woman, and OK I met her in a bar, but she seems to be genuinely interested in me and wants to keep me company. When I finish drinking and say I must go, she says “I want to go with you.” She seems near to tears when I say that I only have a small studio and there’s only enough space for just me. I am getting to the stage that I don’t want to go to the bar, because I don’t want to upset her, but I like her, so I end up going there anyway. Is this all an act?
Reg

Dear Reg,
Let me guess, you are a pensioner and probably a widower. Let me guess again, she says she is 25 and has two children at the village being looked after by her mother and the two Thai husbands ran away, so she had to come to work in the bar to support her mother and her children. The truth of the matter is that she is 32 and is near to tears when she sees a walking ATM slipping away from her. Yes, my Petal, they are very good actresses, and you are being set up in the trap. Now is the time to leg it, but if you continue in this relationship you will be writing to me again in three months to say your money just disappeared. And don’t buy her a house, car or motorcycle, and the buffalo is perfectly well!