Pattaya Prowl: Wet T-Shirt Party has been cancelled because of heavy rain


֍ Pattaya authorities have been busy repainting in bright red colors all the road markings which tell you where the bus stops are. Problem is there aren’t any buses. You figure it.

֍ Substantial expat interest in Thailand’s new 10 year golden visas. Then they find out the bureaucracy involved and decide, er, to look for more viable alternatives.

֍ Pattaya Wine Club is hosting a stunning dinner at Patrick’s Steakhouse, off Second Road, on Friday 30 October. Attendance is 2,490 baht.

֍ Notice seen outside Jomtien bar: The Wet T-Shirt Party has been cancelled because of heavy rain. A case of TIT.

֍ If she has an Adam’s apple, you can be sure there’s a banana lower down.

֍ Thai Airways will reduce its baggage allowance to 23 kilos and one piece of luggage for some (not all) cattle-class passengers next April. The rules are complex.

֍ If you think it’s crazy to ask visitors to pay 300 baht extra as an entry tax, remember that Bhutan requires you to spend US$250 every day in high season.

֍ Alcatraz is a fun-inspired gogo bar in Walking Street with a prison theme including faux prison cells and handcuffs. If uniforms are your thing …

֍ There’s an old Thai proverb advising you to divorce when love vanishes. “When the horse dies, get off.”

֍ Diary date. The Pattaya Fireworks Festival is scheduled for 25/26 November. The premium rooftop seats at 2,500 baht for two with a bottle of sparkling wine are already sold out. Lesser mortals will stand on the pavement for free.

֍ The sexiest runners will be panting in the international bikini race, Pattaya beach road Saturday 29 October at 16.00. An event not to be missed as the women are real and not transgenders. Most anyway.

֍ A man and woman can be friends without any sex whatever being involved. It’s called marriage.

֍ Football is 90 minutes of pretending you are hurt, whereas rugby is 80 minutes of pretending that you’re not.

֍ Boyztown is making a comeback as the elite gay gathering ground in Pattaya. Star attraction seems to be the nightly cabaret show at Castro bar. Quite a drag.

֍ Worst joke of the week. Why are ghosts bad liars? You can see right through them. Keep ‘em coming.

֍ Overheard in a bar. Does your wife get really angry if she loses the battle over which restaurant to go out to? Dunno, she never lost.

֍ A word to the wise. If you are doing a same-day Cambodian visa run, best to go in a minibus with a company. The driver takes care of the bureaucracy. Reports say that foreigners arriving on their own are facing issues and problems.

֍ Taco Tuesdays at the Mexican Casa de Buffalo Bar, Third Road. An all-you-can-eat buffet for 300 baht. Afternoons from 13.00.

֍ The Tahitian Queen on beach road has been around, more or less continuously, from 1978. There’s a 50 percent discount on regular drinks and cocktails during happy hours: afternoons and around midnight. Mosey on over.

֍ Thailand has absolutely no plans to promote the use of cannabis in countries where it’s banned. That’s according to Thailand’s Ministry of Health. So Singapore and Malaysia can give a sigh of relief.

֍ A reader asks if there’s a Thai expression for fake news. Sure is. Khao bplom.

֍ Sandbar renovates. The popular Jomtien beach eatery is renovating to create a brand-new venue for jazz and soul lovers. Reopens sometime this month.

֍ If you like farang food, some options are now cheaper in Pattaya than in the UK. Examples are fish and chips in restaurants and top-notch cheese in supermarkets.

֍ Beyond a reasonable doubt. How do we know that Donald Trump has never read the Bible? ‘Cos he’s not mentioned in it, silly.

֍ Fancy getting involved in the hotel business in the gay Jomtien Complex? Phone Siam House Rooms and Suites 0967198787.

֍ Hemingways Jomtien has opened a new branch off Second Road in Pattaya. It’s between Sois 10 and 11.

֍ World Vegetarian Day passed off without a hitch. If vegetables taste so good, why do they try to make them taste like meat? Just wondering.

Don’t make it long, keep it short!