Heart to Heart: Ménage a trois?

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Ménage a trois?
Dear Hillary,
I have a GF (Thai) who is hinting to me that she would like to have a romp with another woman. I just sort of pretended I didn’t hear her so let it go for the present. Now she is hinting again, even to the point of saying that one of the women in her circle of friends likes having it on with another woman. I’m not really sure I like this idea. We’ve only been together for four months and I really don’t know where this could lead. Any suggestions?
Garry

Dear Garry,
Your GF is telling you loud and clear, Petal. She is bisexual, which in itself is no big deal. The only big deal is the fact that you are afraid of it. Women having a relationship with another woman is much more common than you men know (or understand). Since you have strong misgivings, I think you should quietly back out of the relationship. There’s plenty of ladies who are more attracted to males.



Wobbly drivers
Dear Hillary,
Erectile Dysfunction seems to be the talking point in the bars after golf these days. Seems there are a few “cures” for the wobble in the driver, is this correct?
Willie

Dear Willie,
I am sure you sent this using a pen-name. Nobody with a driver with a wobbly shaft would use their own name, I am sure. I asked around for you, and yes there are many treatments, though not all are “cures”. That’s the good news, but it isn’t something you do at home, Petal. Dr Iain tells me that Bangkok Hospital Pattaya have a new Urology Center with a whole range of willy stiffeners. That sounds a better place to get correct information rather than the after-golf bar.



Wallet missing in the morning
Dear Hillary,
You’ll probably tell me I got what I deserved but I took a lady home and when I woke up in the morning she had gone. That was OK, but so was my wallet gone. She left a note to say she had taken the 1,000 baht I had in the wallet for the taxi and would see me in the bar for the rest of her money (we had agreed on 2,000). I went to the bar that night but they told me she had gone up country for New Year. Will I get my money back?
Rud

Dear Rud,
I am confused. Did you get the wallet back again? By my reckoning you owe her B. 1,000, not she owes you, but then mathematics was never my best subject. I would drop by the bar every couple of days and also tell the Mamasan what has happened. She will know what is happening. Lots of luck.


Family for a few days
Dear Hillary,
I was told many years ago that you shouldn’t let your wife’s family come to stay with you, even just for a few days, as it always ends up for weeks or months. I thought I was lucky because it never happened to me. Now, her brother and her cousin and her mother all staying in the house with us. They all stay in the one room which I think is a bit unhealthy, and they’ve been here for three months and there’s no sign of them leaving. They are quiet and do help around the house and garden, but this wasn’t what I really expected. I asked my wife about it but she just says it’s OK and they’ll be going soon after they brother and cousin have got jobs and mother is just having a holiday. What’s the next move, Hillary? Enough’s enough, surely.
Harry the House Husband

Dear Harry the House Husband,
You are now starting to see a little of what Thai society is all about, my Petal. Family reigns supreme, and it is usual for them all to sleep in the same room. It’s not unhealthy. It is Thai. When you got married, you joined a Thai family, much more than your wife joining your UK family. After all, you married a Thai lady and chose to live in Thailand. You would have to expect that Thai culture will be dominant. You can try voicing your reluctance to have them there, but be prepared for difficulties. This is your wife’s immediate family. You can always try to find them jobs – in a far away city. Lots of luck!

Time for a change
Dear Hillary,
What is the situation with Thai law when you split from a live-in girlfriend? Does she have any legal rights to your property, cars, houses and such? I’ve been with this girl for about a year, but it’s time to change, but she’s already got the hand out and wants the house and the car. Hand them over, or tough it out? What is your advice?
Jack

Dear Jack,
You are asking the wrong person, Petal. This is Hillary, with heart balm for those injured in love, not a lawyer specializing in marital problems, even though some days it seems like it. Since you went into the relationship, apparently knowing there would be a time to move on (“time to change” you wrote), then you should have been clever enough to protect your interests. See a lawyer.