You know you’ve been in Asia too long when…

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Editor;

You know you’ve been in Asia too long when:

• You no longer wait in line, but immediately go to the head of the queue.

• You stop at the bottom of the escalator to plan your day.

• It has become exciting to see if you can get into the lift before anybody can get out.

• You’re willing to pay to use a toilet you wouldn’t go to within a kilometre of back home.

• It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue of the next meeting.

• You no longer wonder how someone making US$200 per month can drive a Mercedes.

• You accept the fact that you have to queue to get your number for the next queue.

• You accept without question the mechanic’s analysis that your car is “broken” and that it will cost you a lot of money to get it fixed.

• You find it saves time to stand and retrieve your cabin baggage while the plane is on final approach.

• You walk into a five-star hotel lobby unshaven and in jogging shorts, ratty t-shirt and flip-flops, without worrying what the management might think.

• You expect at least three waiters to be standing by to take your order.

• You regard it as part of an adventure when the waiter exactly repeats your order, and then the cook makes something completely different.

• A T-bone steak and rice sounds just fine.

• You habitually ignore traffic signals, stop signs and copy-watch peddlers.

• You’re not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb.

• You think it is normal to wait six days to get your laundry back or pay a 50% surcharge for same day service.

• Taxi drivers understand you.

• You consider that 5 kb/s is a pretty good download speed.

• You can shake your hands almost perfectly dry before wiping them on your pants.

• When crossing a busy street you believe that a limp wrist motion with your right arm creates a force field that repels oncoming traffic.

• You understand all of the above references!

Robert De Angel