Pattaya Prowl: Sorry we’re closed!


Sorry we’re closed!
Pattaya internet sites these days are crowded with information about where to have a good time, which are the best restaurants in the city or treating yourself to a champagne dinner on a lemonade budget. Some of the info is informative and up-to-date. But not all by any means. A lot of bloggers seem content to reprint what somebody else has written long, long ago.

This week, we noticed that Mata Hari and the Manhattan steak house, restaurants which closed years ago, are still being recommended by keyboard warriors in April 2023. Another example is the long-shuttered Simon’s fish and chips in Jomtien, as well as several bars in the now largely-empty Sunee Plaza. Prices are sometimes out of date too. One site tells us that the price of a ticket to the Tiffany cabaret show is 500 baht. Where have you been in the last 10 years mate?

֎ Sex over 40 can be exciting. You never know whether it’s an orgasm, a stroke or just a cramp. (From Pattaya News Flash).

֎ For the record, Wednesday 19 April is Pattaya’s special water-throwing day. But it’s not a public holiday and immigration is open 8.30-4.30. If you fancy making the trip.

֎ U-tapao airport, near Rayong, now hosts many more domestic and international flights, yet there’s no organized bus service to Pattaya or anywhere else. Taxi drivers are charging between 850 baht and 2,000 baht for the 35 km journey to Fun City. Ugh!

֎ If you want to renew your driving licence, the passport number printed on it must match the actual passport you present. If the numbers are different, no can do. Never throw away your old passport as you never know when it might be needed.

֎ Las Vegas go go club is now open on Soi L.K.Metro. Was formerly Kilkenny bar and restaurant. Good reports coming in.

֎ The main purpose of legal cannabis, we are told, is for medicinal purposes. However, the names of many of the outlets suggest otherwise. Blow Your Mind or Upstairs Bliss don’t exactly conjure up images of getting a good night’s sleep with your arthritis pains.

֎ Happiness bar in Soi Lengkee Two looks to have had a facelift and a new interior. Take a peep soon.

֎ Is Walking Street turning into an Asians-only zone? Some say that the bars prefer Asian men, especially South Koreans, as they spend more in an evening. The economical Brits are being pushed into the slightly-cheaper Soi Buakhao and L.K. Metro area.

֎ In the past 11 years, 115 people have died in weightlifting accidents in the gym, whilst only one actually died whilst eating a donut. Best to eat a donut. (From Pattaya News Flash).

֎ There’s a new cat and dog pets’ hotel on Central Road, opposite Ali Baba restaurant near Beach Road. No reports yet.

֎ Churchill’s Munchies expat food on Soi Buakhao has closed, but is being built as a bar under new management. Munchies’ prices were very reasonable.

֎ In case the question comes up at the quiz, Alcazar cabaret show opened in November 1981 when it had a much smaller auditorium. Now you know.

֎ Overheard in a pub: I went skiing last week and broke a leg. Fortunately it wasn’t mine.

֎ Amongst the more colorful April Fool jokes this year: the Thai government will recriminalize pot on April 15 and driving license for foreigners will be limited to annual renewals from now on.

֎ Cannabis for recreation is an important issue in Pattaya for the upcoming general election. Those who have invested heavily in renovating “dispensaries” for “medical use” won’t want to see their cash disappear if the pot becomes an illegal narcotic again. Agreed?

֎ Crazy Horse bar on Soi Khao Noi has great international live music every Saturday and Sunday 8-11 pm. Take a look by all means.

֎ Some locals are saying cheap tonic water is hard to get in several supermarkets. Schweppes is the main brand. The alternative, genuine Indian tonics are more than double the price and much smaller.

֎ The highest temperature recorded in the local area was 49.4 at Laem Chabang port last week. Pattaya rarely gets past 40 although it often feels like 50. Not to mention the daily smog count which is many times higher than the daytime recommended limits. Is it down to burning rubbish or traffic fumes or neither? You judge.

֎ From Pattaya’s favorite radio station. A man said he felt so much better after he gave away to a poor guy 5,000 baht. Especially when the guy put the knife away.

Happy Hunting!