Winter woollies cheap!

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Dear Hillary,

I just read an article in the dining out column where Don, Aka Nod, said for B. 450 they should dish up the whole sheep. This is more of a Legal or Moral question than a relationship one.

Many years ago I worked as a mechanic in outback Australia. My boss also ran a property with 20000+ sheep. He would sell me 1 sheep for $3.00 on the condition that I drove out there, selected a beast, killed and dressed it myself.

Being of good Irish Stock whose ancestors had been shipped to Australia on trumped up charges of stealing, I would round up two mates and drive out there and select a beast each.

We now had three sheep for an outlay of $3.00. I also had three hides that would fetch $4.00. By now I was showing a profit of one dollar and had enough lamb to feed me well till next time.

I know my boss was claiming losses on his taxes. So using the logic of the local priest (Irish) I was helping him out and the good lord would have no trouble with me if a leg of mutton were to show up at the manse back door.

I don’t know the statute of limitations on duffing but I fear I may be sent down rather than up when my time comes.

Please Hillary help me out. (Psst if you are heading down under I can let you have a nice sheepskin vest at a good price.)

Bryan

 

Dear Bryan,

You have me totally confused, but thank you for your email and the offer of a woolly vest, just what I need in our tropical paradise! I also don’t quite understand what you want me to help you out with? Alter your course of destination from the fires of Hell to the balmy pursuit of the Heaven in the clouds which has herds of sheep for the taking and lamb chops for dinner? I am also a trifle worried with your information that your boss insisted you dress the sheep yourself. I didn’t know that Australian sheep wear dresses, but it probably goes a long way towards my understanding of some of the culture from Down-Under.