What to do with the outlaws


Dear Hillary,

My husband’s mother and father are coming out for a holiday next month.  This will be their first trip to Thailand and I am wondering where we should take them.  They are both in their 60’s, so we must be careful of the venue.


Dear Maria,

What have you to be careful of?  Will Pa-in-law become an aggressive drunk and molest the waitress, or Ma-in-law snap the bra straps and shoulder the girls out of the way at the chrome pole paradise?  Honestly, what is the world coming to?  Stop worrying!  Pattaya has more amazing things to do and go to than just about anywhere in the world.  You should put the following on the agenda, one of the lavish on stage transvestite shows (Tiffany’s for example), a visit to some of the restaurants out over the water on Walking Street like King Sea Food, take them to the tourist entertainment outlets like zoos and other similar venues, enjoy relaxed BBQ’s at Bang Saray for example, a bit of fun, food and dancing at Walking Street and even take them to a go-go bar.  After all, they are here and someone will ask them on their return what they were like.  Relax and enjoy their being here.  They’re old enough to tell you what they want anyway!