To Go-Go or don’t go-go?

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DDear Hillary

I’m suffering from a case of what I can only call Go Go Syndrome.  I find it impossible to walk past a Go Go bar without having to go in and see those beautiful girls dancing in their bikinis.  It’s become a severe drain on my finances and although I try and run past the bars I find myself stopping and worrying what I may be missing out on.  I blame the owners of these places for teasing my well earned baht out of me.  My girlfriend isn’t happy either.  Please help.

Go-go’d or gone

Dear Go-go’d or gone,

What can Hillary say to help you in your hour of need?  Perhaps you could start the local chapter of Go-Go Anonymous?  However, I think the answer to both your problem and that of your girlfriend is to buy a chrome pole and a mirror for your lounge room and let your girlfriend sing thongs for you!