The Big O makes a come-back

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Dear Hillary,

I was being sarcastic in describing myself as a ‘Roy Orbison Tribute Artiste’; I am an elderly, severely sight impaired Englishman; I have been likened to the Big O before now, which I always resented because I always thought he was really ugly. I’ll defend bar girls as ‘decent’, until proved otherwise, due to the nature of the work they have to do: being pawed and mauled by some of the most repulsive men on the planet, and I’m not just talking about being physically repulsive here. A lot of these men treat them like dirt, which they are not; they are escorts and should be treated with respect … and caution. If I could see better I’d take full advantage of the bar scene to look for a partner here in Thailand, because trying to find a ‘nice’ Thai GF is a minefield that I can’t afford mentally or physically right now.

Lemmy Thinkalike (before he was dead obviously)

 

Dear Lemmy Thinkalike,

Did you see they are trying to make a Jack Daniels and Coke to be officially known as a “Lemmy”? Though, hang on for a second, you can’t see, as you said. That must be a real problem for you in some of those poorly illuminated bars, but I am sure you will find some willing ladies who will help the visually impaired, as they say. With all the political correctness we are not allowed to refer to you as half blind. Personally I think it is all nonsense. So do you really look like the Big O? Dark glasses and all? But as you told me, it doesn’t matter in the bars, in actual fact it is what your wallet looks like that is important, or should I say, what’s in your wallet that’s important. You sound like a nice man, Lemmy Thinkalike, so I hope they can do something for your eyesight. If they can’t, just grab the hand of the girl on the stool next to you and she will guide you down the street (to the nearest ATM).

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