I have been having a sort of long distance relationship with a very sweet girl for the past five years. I was on holidays here and met her as she was a travel agent and helped me with changing some flight plans. We got along well and had dinner together a couple of times before I returned to the UK. We stayed in touch by email and she asked me to correct her emails as she wanted to improve her English.
The next time I came over, she helped me again and we began seeing each other every day, and she even came with me on a trip up-country, but stayed in her own room, as she comes from a very strict family.
We did this for a couple of years, getting closer all the time, but never had relations. She did suggest, half joking I thought, that maybe we should get married, but I said that couldn’t happen as she was 32 years old and I was 60, and she never mentioned it again.
So now I have a permanent guide that I am very attached to, and really would like to pop the question. Should I do it, Hillary, or just put up with the situation as it is?
Dear Hesitant Harry,
I am sure you are a lovely man, but it looks to me as if you have been hurt at some stage and you’re now afraid of letting this relationship develop further. Goodness me, my Petal, this woman has been giving you the green light for years, and you haven’t seen it. You are blind as well as hesitant, it seems. She is getting older, so she is no young thing out to empty your wallet, and the age difference is obviously something she had already taken in her stride some time ago.
I don’t think you should read my reply to your letter and then immediately rush out and buy the ring, but just let the relationship continue to build, as it was doing until you put the brakes on! Once you relax, it will all roll along quite nicely, until the right moment to pop the question will be normal. All the best, Harry.