Randy Uncle


Dear Hillary,
My uncle came to Thailand last month for a visit. I was excited, as I had not seen him or my aunt for some years. Imagine how I felt when my uncle arrived without my aunt, but he had a girl from Bangkok in tow. He said my aunt did not feel like travelling at her age (they are both in their eighties) but he didn’t want to disappoint me by not coming. He didn’t say anything about the strumpet, and they were in the same room in the hotel. (I only have a very small studio so they couldn’t stay with me.) Honestly, Hillary, should I tell my aunt or should I tell my uncle he is not welcome here again? I am so confused. Please help.
Confused of Chonburi.


Dear Confused,
Wow! Hillary is certainly glad you’re not her niece! You seem to be so delightfully judgmental, manipulative and interfering. Be thankful that there is life in the old dog yet and he came to visit you. Lordy, if you played your cards right and keep your mouth firmly shut and were exceptionally hospitable to both your uncle and his companion, your uncle might even remember you in his will. And for that matter, how do you know that your aunt wasn’t glad to see the back of the old boy for a while because he snores? Or, heaven forbid in your so morally upright family, that your Aunt may have wanted the opportunity to have it off with the milkman or meet up with a long lost lover. Personal morality is just that – personal, i.e., relating solely to the individual. I suggest you learn to live and let live, practicing mai pen lai and jai yen yen and stop judging people. One day, someone might be just as nastily judgmental about you. I hope they write to me too!