Professional liars?

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Dear Hillary,

A couple of weeks ago one person wrote to you about the Thai women telling lies and made out that they were all liars.  That isn’t really fair, Hillary.  Everybody tells lies, but maybe the Thai women aren’t as good at it (telling lies) as the western women.  Have you got an opinion on the habits of Thai women?  Can we trust them or not?  I’m in a relationship right now, but I am wondering if I should employ a detective to follow her when I’m away (which is for six weeks on and six weeks off).  She has a bunch of girlfriends from the bar, and I know that a couple of them have a bit on the side.  She tells me she is faithful, but is it a lie?  I am getting doubtful as sometimes when I ring her she does not answer, but always has a good excuse like left the phone in the car.  Do you recommend I follow it through with a PI?

Jack

 

Dear Jack,

Get out of the relationship right now.  If you are so unsure of the relationship that you are looking at getting a PI means that you do not have enough trust in her for this relationship to work, especially when you are away six weeks at a time.  Keep playing the field my Petal.  Keep out of the bars, and don’t look at any relationship until you have known the girl for at least two years.  It is a minefield out there, Jack and the way you are going you are going to step on something you don’t want.