Opportunity knocking


Dear Hillary,

I recently visited the UK for a few days and when I returned found my key would not open the front door. I rang the bell and this man came to the door and told me, in no uncertain terms to eff off. When I told him this was my house he said it wasn’t as it is now in Nok’s name and he will call the police if I pester them again. He said the same applied to my car. I know my Nok, who he would not let me see, would not do this to me without being in some way forced to.


Anyway, since then I have seen a For Sale sign at the house, and on my other one that I also put in her name. I am happy this is Nok’s way of making sure I do not lose out financially and will give me the proceeds when both are sold because I know she truly loves me.

Do you think I should stop her allowance and discontinue sending her family 50,000 baht a month? I do not want her to suffer any hardships because of this bad man, but a little guidance would be appreciated. Sorry I can’t afford chocs or bubbly right now.



Dear Bewildered,

I could be crass and say that “opportunity only ‘Noks’ once” and I think your little cash-rich cashier has responded to the call.

It is time you went to see one of the nice glasses dispensaries around town and get your rose-colored lenses changed for clear ones. Sorry, but your angel Nok will not return to you bearing large parcels of cash from house sales. That notion you should get rid of immediately. If you ever do see her again, it will not be a pleasant meeting.

You ask whether you should “stop her allowance and discontinue sending her family 50,000 baht a month.” That’s about the first bit of real sense so far. When you are so hard up that you cannot even offer me some chocolates and fizz, why would you even contemplate sending 50,000 baht to her family, plus goodness knows what you have been sending to her! Do you realize, my Petal, just how much chocolate and champagne you can buy with 50,000 baht? And I’m talking the good stuff here – Belgian chocs and French fizzwater. And every month too! Oh dearie, dearie me. Why don’t I meet such bewildered buffoons before they throw all their money away? There is a famous quotation, which states that there’s a fool born every minute. You are living proof!