Nurse on a Pension


Dear Hillary,

I look forward to your wise words every Friday for all those men out there who find themselves in the clutches of the bar girls. As you said last week, they are professionals. The good ones are very good. But where do you go to meet your “good girls”? Sure you can find them behind the counters in up-market shops, but they are just too hard to get close to. As a pensioner, I’m not in the situation of expensive dinners and a peck on the cheek, but the bar girls will make me feel young again, all the good girls want is for me to make them feel young again. No, Hillary, I’ll stick with the ladies of the night. I know what I’m getting and I know how much it will cost me.



Dear Raymond,

As a pensioner you are not looking for a long term commitment (you probably don’t have a long term anyway), but you are looking for a sexy nurse who will look after your every need, 24 hours a day. Unfortunately for you, the pensions department won’t give you an allowance for that. That’s any pensions department, but especially the UK and the US. (The Aussies won’t pay at all if you don’t actually live Down-Under.) I agree with you, a professional lady is as good as it’s going to get, so enjoy. Pension day is next Thursday, I believe. Can you hold on till then?