You have been bloviating for years over proper spelling and grammar so it was so tempting to give you something that you really enjoy. Correcting the writer; whether he/she be of an English speaking country or not, you (sic) them or correct them with your imperial and vast knowledge of this language. You column needed some other venue other than the regular drivel of poor men who come to Thailand to be consumed by the land shark bar girl. Year after year you give the same advice; it’s your own fault you ignorant man… and don’t forget to bring me chocs and bubbly when you return with more money to make the same stupid mistakes. Bar Girl Love! In your latest column, you made a rediculous (sic) point of exalting my use of KOTW. If you had paid any attention to my previous submissions you would have noted that if (sic) stood for “Keeper Of The Wow”. Sanook (fun), which is dreadfully missing from your often pointless weekly submissions to your rag. (Slang, English newspaper.) So, maybe you can put more effort into your column and stop demonizing the poor guy who submits his ‘new?’ problems to you.
KOTW, Singha Jerry
Dear Singha Jerry, self-styled Keeper of the WOW,
Do you remember Mrs. Malaprop? You would do better at letter writing if you checked your use of long words in the dictionary first. “Imperial”? I think you actually meant to write “imperious”, Petal. Now “exalting”? That means “raising up”, Jerry. Was that what you meant? And “demonizing”? It all gets too confusing, and I will even ignore the spelling errors this week. I can only suggest that your next missive (or even missile) be sent after partaking of only one bottle of your favorite sanook beverage, not several.