(Following on to the chap who found his wife cheating after 10 years) In farangland as I know it, it was mostly the wife who would hang on to a cheating husband. I know a few here, who tolerate their husbands cheating, some I know. But their choices are different, do they tolerate it because the alternative is worse? Here farang will hang on way past the bitter end with a Thai wife. I, too married more than 10 yrs. though no kids between us involved, the first proof of indiscretion and we’d be done. While it happens everywhere, I just can’t get my head around being a torturous, stressful relationship. I can’t see the point of being with someone who causes unhappiness. I can instantly separate myself from anyone who causes me drama, living alone is not a problem.
While the kids are a major concern, resign yourself to the fact that are so many other family members around, the kids will not go un-loved. I’d be sure they get what they need, and see them when possible, without being a nuisance, or you will turn the whole family against you. Move on and try to be friends.
Like elephant poop in a soi, you can see it from a great distance, but continue walking toward it until you have to make a drastic change of course to avoid it, then maybe stumble on something and fall face first into it, when it didn’t have to come that.
You are quite the philosopher at times, Petal, but I stick to my point that the children come first. I am not so sure they “will get what they need,” as you are. Children need that father figure and a farang father is what is needed for “Luk krueng” children to get along in this country and to understand why they are “different” from other children, and to realize their true potential. So often in these situations, the children end up as unwanted and uneducated village children, not what any father would want. The welfare of the children must come first.