Monarch of the Glen


Dear Hillary,

Once a week I have a night out with the boys from work.  Usually this means I get home in the wee small hours (early closing time these days with the BiB around) and sometimes I am a little the worse for wear by the time I get home as a couple of the lads are top drinkers.  My girlfriend is starting to crack up a bit about this one night a week.  I reckon she is being unreasonable, as I used to get home even later before the crackdowns in the past year.  What can I tell her to make her see that this is just harmless fun with the lads and is a break for me from family responsibilities?


Dear Glen,

I want you to change roles with your girlfriend for one night.  She is going to go out with the girls from work and is going to come home at something past three, decidedly the “worse for wear”.  In other words, very drunk.  Are you going to sit back happily and let this happen every week?  Will you happily sit at home and not wonder where she is?  Will you sit there calmly watching TV soap operas about cheating husbands and wives (that’s all there is on local TV) and not worry?  Or are you going to crack up about it?  It is only Scottish stags that are the “monarchs of the glen”.  I think you should reconsider your responsibilities to the young lady.  And some people told me that chauvinism was dead!  My Petal, it is neither fun nor harmless.  Think about it.  Take her with you next time.