Look out for doggy doo

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Dear Hillary,

We used to have a very quiet neighborhood until a family moved in with three dogs. They wander round the place, barking if you go near them (as dogs do) so I don’t walk around our village any more without a stick to beat them off if I need it. A friend swears by a device which gives off a sound which scares them away, but it is so high pitched that we can’t hear it, but dogs can. Do you know where I can get one of these? It sounds just what I need.

Grahame

Dear Grahame,

Maybe this device will work for you, but surely the first line of attack is to ask the new neighbors to keep their dogs in and not let them roam the streets. Are you sure the dogs belong to them, and not a couple of soi dogs. Does Security not stop them? Have you told Security? I don’t know where you would get the “Doggone” machine, but the Landlord of Jameson’s pub walks to work and hasn’t been showing bite marks, so maybe he’s got one. Or maybe the dogs don’t drink!