Liking and lumping


Dear Hillary,

A couple of weeks ago you told some poor chap who had gone out to Thailand to see the girl he was pretty sure he was going to marry, that he should just like it or lump it when the girl in question had gone off with some other guy to Chiang Mai. You also came up with the sweeping statement that “90 percent of those guys never show up again”. Of course, when you are saying it’s OK for them to go off with someone else who just happens to be there at the time, and bad luck for the poor sod who had gone out to see her, no wonder. You are excusing very poor behavior, my Petal Hillary. I reckon you owe him better advice than you gave him.


Dear Jack,

You are guilty of quoting me out of context, Petal. You are conveniently leaving out my statement, “If you’re here for a good time, then go out with the good-time girls. If you’re looking for your life’s partner then you don’t begin in a bar.” He was looking in the wrong place, that is what I was trying to tell him. If you want to buy some cheese, then you don’t find it in a hardware shop. Can I be any more plain than that? That’s the best advice he could possible get.