Kamoyed in the kitchen

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Dear Hillary,

My wife has started cheating on the grocery bills and I am sure she has started to sneak the odd thousand baht from my billfold when I am asleep.  At first I thought it was the kids, but they couldn’t get to my billfold during the night, while my wife could very easily.  I also note that she seems to have less jewelry than before, and when I have asked her where her necklace is she gets very defensive and says she is having it cleaned.  I am sure she is not having an affair, as she is always home at nights with me, so what can I do to check?  Where is the money going?  Do you think it might be gambling?

Emptied Wallet

 

Dear Emptied Wallet,

You’re sure she’s not having an affair because she’s with you at night.  What about daytime, Petal?  Ever considered that?  However, back to the disappearing 1000 baht notes.  The easy way to see if the money is running away is to count the number in the wallet before bed and again in the morning.  Even jot down some serial numbers to make it even more evident.  The little stock take in the morning will show any shortfall immediately.  Unfortunately, when wives take up gambling, the first sign is missing money and gold.  You are going to have to be very careful in checking, and then comes the difficult part of confronting her with the evidence.  You are in for a rocky road, Petal.  Wives have been known to mortgage the house you are buying for her with your hard earned money.  Beware, beware.